Alone Together {Patrick Stump}

Chapter 36

"Please don't cry, baby," Dad whispered as he hugged me. "Please. I hate seeing you cry."

"I don't want to die," I sobbed. 

"I know, baby, I know," he whispered. He held me tightly in his arms.

"I don't know what to do anymore." I sobbed. "I don't want to leave you, but I can't handle the treatments. I don't want Jessie to take me away. I want to stay here with you."

"I know, baby," Dad whispered again. "I won't let her take you away. But you have to do the treatments. It's the only way to get rid of the tumors."

"I know," I cried into his shoulder. He rubbed my back, attempting to calm me down.

"Lyra, why did you cut?" Pete asked, sitting next to me. I had forgotten. . . .

"I don't know," I cried. "I don't know what I was thinking or what was happening. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, baby girl, it's okay," Dad said. I'm sure he gave Pete a look that told him asking was out of line. The thing was, I couldn't be angry with Pete for asking. I used to be able to talk to him about this stuff. I knew it would have come up sooner or later. 

"No, it's not okay," I cried. "I shouldn't have done it. If I hadn't, you wouldn't have had to know about the tumor. We wouldn't be here if I hadn't."

"Lyra, we were going to find out anyways," Andy said. "You wouldn't have been able to hide it forever." Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Joe, who was closest, opened the door and a doctor walked in.

"Is this the room of Lyra Gaine?" He asked. 

"Stump," Joe corrected. "But, yes, this is Lyra's room."

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but Jessica Gaine has passed away," he said. With that sentence, I stopped crying. My world was numb. I had just seen her. She wanted to take me away from my father. She couldn't be dead. She was supposed to be alive. She had to tell me what happened to my birth parents. I had to tell her about my birth grandma. I had just found out my sister was alive, after believing she was dead for twelve years. "Her lungs collapsed suddenly. We tried to save her, but we were too late. I'm terribly sorry for your lose." Then he left. He didn't stay to explain. He didn't try to comfort me. He just left.

I sobbed. I just sat there in my father's arms and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. I couldn't breathe. My mind and body was numb. My heart was racing. My lungs burned. It was a panic attack, but I didn't care. I didn't have the energy to tell Dad. But it hurt. It hurt so much.

~Patrick~

When the doctor came in and said Jessica was dead, Lyra fell apart. It was understandable, of course. She had thought she'd lost all her family after her grandfather died, just to find out she still had her sister. Now her sister really is dead and she really is alone. Other than us, of course.

I held Lyra tightly as she cried some more. Her breathing became far more rapid much quicker. Soon, her breathing was labored and the monitors were all beeping like crazy. She was having another panic attack, I knew it. Even though she didn't tell me, I knew.

"Someone go get help!" I shouted as Lyra collapsed in my arms. Her heart monitor flatlined. The noise was too much. I couldn't handle the sound of my child dying in my arms. Parents shouldn't outlive their children, adopted or not. She shouldn't die before I do. 

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

The other monitors beeped continuously, too loud to think straight. Her heart monitor was noisily flatlining. She was dying, and no one was coming to help her. 

Beep.

Beep.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppp.

The noise was overwhelming. It was too much. I let go of Lyra, letting her fall onto the bed. I covered my ears and screamed. I had to drown out the noise. I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't lose her to a panic attack. I couldn't lose her to a tumor. I couldn't lose her now, not after the many near escapes from death. I couldn't handle losing her. Not after I'd just gotten her back.

~Pete~

Patrick was a wreck. I couldn't blame him. He covered him ears and screamed. Just screamed. To him, the beeping monitors telling of a failing life must have sounded ten times louder than they actually were. 

Her life was failing. She was leaving, and she wouldn't be back. If the panic attack didn't take her, I knew, the tumor would. I didn't want to think about it, but it was probably time to say our goodbyes. I hated to have to admit it, but it was true.

"Patrick!" I said loudly, grabbing his arms. I pulled his hands away from his ears. "Patrick, she's not going to make it this time!" Tears streaked Down my face. "It's time to say our goodbyes."

"No! She's going to make it! She has to!" Patrick screamed, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Patrick, I don't want to think about saying goodbye either," I cried. "If we don't do it, we'll regret it later on! Please, Patrick!"

She'd been without a pulse for several minutes. We tried CPR, but it wasn't working. No one was coming to help us, and I didn't understand why. Joe was out searching the floor for anyone who could come and help. Obviously, he was having no such luck. 

"I can't, Pete," Patrick sobbed. "I can't lose her. She can't die!" After several more minutes, Patrick's strength must have given out. He stopped, collapsing to the floor. A doctor rushed in behind Joe.

"How long has the line been flat?" He asked, pointing towards the heart monitor. I looked at the clock.

"About 15 minutes," I answered shakily. He preformed CPR and called for the nurses to bring in a crash cart. Patrick continued to sob on the floor. I held back the tears that wanted to deep through so badly. I had to be strong for Patrick and Lyra. Patrick couldn't be strong for them, so I would. I had to. I couldn't let Lyra see me like that again. She shouldn't think of me as someone weak who always cries. I couldn't believe it myself. I had to be strong.

*Y'all probably hatin' me now 😂 I know, I'm so mean to my readers, aren't I? Maybe this is where it ends. Or maybe, it's just the beginning? Guess you'll find out in the next few chapters 🤷‍♀️ Have fun, my little readers! 🙋‍♀️ And have y'all heard Panic!'s new songs released today? If not, I totally recommend them! They are Say Amen (Saturday Night) and Silver Lining!