Marmoris | Rabastan Lestrange [1] ✔︎

25 | BET

It was far past midnight when Phoenix finally walked up the stairs to the girls' dorms. Rabastan's words were still repeating in her mind over and over. 

Last year I tried to kill myself. 

She had expected him to confess anything but that. It was hard to believe somebody who seemed to be as self-confident as him had been that broken, especially at the age of sixteen. At least she had never even seen a hint of it in all these years she knew him, but she was not even Rabastan would joke about such matters. She didn't doubt he had told her the truth. For the very first time she got a glimpse of what was under the surface of the ocean that was him. And even though he had told her not to pity him she couldn't help but do so. 

Afraid of saying the wrong thing she had kept silent, the two of them simply looking at each other. She hadn't asked him about how he would've done it as she felt it had already been a big deal to tell her about his weakness. It had been him to speak first, telling her he had found his own way to live with his problems and that he was confident she would do the same thing. Although he had partially made her forget her guilt she wondered if he really was fine. She didn't know much about human psychology but she was sure his condition wouldn't get better from one day to another. Most likely he was still in the process of recovering. And if there was even the smallest possibility of her being able to help she wouldn't hesitate to do so.

Phoenix entered the dormitory on tiptoes as the room laid in complete darkness and she was sure her friends had already gone to bed. As silent as possible she took her shorts and t-shirt from her bed before disappearing into the bathroom. Quickly she undid her hair, brushed her teeth changed into her pyjama. Slowly she felt sleepiness creeping into her body as there was nobody distracting her anymore. The only thing she wanted was to finally go to bed and sleep for a complete day – or at least what felt like it.

However, life seemed to have another plan. She stepped back into the dark room, turning off the light in the bathroom, and that was when she heard sobs in the silence. For a moment she stood completely unmoving, trying to make out from which part of the room the sound came from. Slowly her eyes adjusted to the darkness and she caught sight of two figures sitting on Dawn's bed. Immediately her tiredness was gone and she rushed to her friend's bed. To her surprise it was Dawn crying, still wearing her dress and Maureen holding her tightly.

"Merlin, what happened?" She asked sitting down next to them, taking Dawn's hands in hers.

The girl didn't look up at her but Phoenix could sense how truly miserable she felt. She could hear her taking deep breaths, trying to calm herself down.

"It... it was... he lied," Dawn managed to tell her between several sobs.

In confusion Phoenix looked at Maureen who seemed to be just as puzzled, mouthing something to her she couldn't quite make out in the darkness. Phoenix squeezed her friend's hand and concentrated on a calm feeling which she tried to pass over to Dawn. Hopefully her abilities could do at least something good. Perhaps it was only her imagination but the girl's breathing seemed to become steadier. Still, she could see tears streaming down her cheeks but they wouldn't have to fear her collapsing due to a lack of oxygen anymore. Maureen raised her eyebrows but Phoenix simply shook her head. It didn't matter right now how she had done it.

"Who lied?" She asked, trying to keep her own voice calm.

Her friend's strong feelings were overwhelming. It wasn't only sadness but hopelessness, anger, disbelief and several others Phoenix couldn't quite point a finger at. It felt like a hand squeezing her heart, like her guilt which had slightly faded thanks to Rabastan making her feel like she wasn't alone.

"You really want to know?" Dawn asked, her voice hoarse from crying.

Phoenix simply nodded, while Maureen answered. "Of course we do, silly. We're your friends, remember?"

Another sob escaped her before she managed to say a name. "Sirius."

For a second Phoenix heart stopped, which lead to a chain reaction. She lost focus which made her calm influence on Dawn break, causing her to cry even harder again. She could only look at her with wide eyes.

"What?"

This had to be a misunderstanding. Her brother wouldn't intentionally hurt anybody like that. People often spoke of him being a womanizer but she knew he wasn't. Of course Sirius was well aware of the fact that many girls liked him for his looks but he had never used these interests. He didn't break a girl's heart to make himself feel superior. But it seemed like she had been wrong.

"I thought it was real. He told me... he told me he liked me and I... I believed him. But it was a lie... he lied right from the beginning. Why was I so stupid to... believe him", Dawn went on.

Everything Phoenix could do was blink at her best friend. "Shh.. I'm sure it was a simple misunderstanding. It'll be fine, Dawn."

"No, it won't, Phoenix," Dawn spat. "I heard him talk to Potter. All of what he said was based on a lie, on a bet. Potter said he would never get a Slytherin to kiss him and he wanted to prove him wrong. There's nothing mistakable about it."

Phoenix stared at her friend, her mouth slightly agape. She couldn't believe Sirius would do anything like that, but on the other hand it sounded exactly like him trying to shield his pride. She felt anger raising in her chest. Nobody was allowed to use people like that, not even her own brother.

"I'll cut that idiot into pieces and put his head on a pike," Maureen growled. "No offense, Phee."

Even Dawn couldn't help but smile at her threat but Phoenix shook her head.

"No, I'll take care of him. He won't get away with this, promise."

Well, the good thing about being ill is that I was able to finish a new chapter in a proper amount of time but that's not actually what I wanted to tell you. 

What Rabastan went through is a really serious matter. I don't have actual experience with depression or people trying to commit suicide. All my knowledge is based on books and movies but I hope I won't create a wrong image. In my opinion it's horrible if you get a person to feel that way and to even make them want to end their life and although I have no real experience on this topic I wanted to include it. But I still wanted to let you know.

Love, Enya