Marmoris | Rabastan Lestrange [1] ✔︎

44 | CARING

Although one might think kissing a friend a second time would be less weird, but in reality Phoenix considered it even worse. Especially because this time Rabastan wasn't on medication and was fully conscious of what he was doing. So in her opinion, her petrification in shock was totally justified, but as soon as she could wrap her head around what was actually going on she pushed him away by his shoulders and stared at him with widened eyes, her heart beating so loudly in her chest that she was afraid he would hear it.

"Why did you do that?" she inquired, moving away from him, uncomfortable with the whole situation.

"Why did I do what?" Rabastan chuckled, obviously trying to mock her.

Phoenix rolled her eyes at him. "Kiss me, dumbass."

All of a sudden he started to laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"You trying to swear."

She groaned in annoyance and started to regret her choice of rescue from the classroom. In fact, she wasn't even sure why she did ask him to help her in the first place, as his honest words from the previous day still hurt. "There's only one thing that I swear right now; that I'll hex you if you don't stop making fun of me."

Rabastan, however, didn't seem fazed by her threat and simply shrugged, as he answered her previous question. "I'm familiar with panic attacks and what you just went through sure as hell looked like one. With me, distraction helps a lot and I couldn't come up with anything else."

"It wasn't a panic attack," Phoenix bluntly told him.

"Yeah, it worked though, didn't it?" the blonde boy asked with a proud smirk.

It wasn't until he mentioned it that she realised he was right. The faces and the headache were completely gone, with no trace left of them. Instead she was able to take in her surroundings, which consisted of a narrow, dimly lit corridor, ending with an old-looking wall. She blinked with confusion and muttered, "But how?"

Rabastan opened his mouth, undoubtedly to give away some witty remark but she sent him a look. "I mean it. I'll hex you."

Again, he chuckled, shaking his head before his facial expression grew more serious. His icy blue eyes scanned her face. "What did you mean when you said it wasn't a panic attack?"

"Why would I tell you after you basically bombarded me with insults and called me a psycho? I can't keep acting as if nothing happened when people mess with my feelings," Phoenix told him and got up. However, he caught her by her wrist, making her look back down at him. For the first time since their conversation had started she saw a sincere emotion cross his features; guilt.

"For the same reason which made you ask me to get you out of the classroom," he answered softly.

"I'm not even sure why I did it myself."

"Because deep down you know I care," Rabastan exclaimed. "I don't really know what caring means, considering nobody ever showed me what it meant when I was a child, but I know that I don't want you to get hurt, not because of me and not because of anybody else."

"I don't deserve your care, Rabastan. You said it yourself, I was ready to hurt Crystal, which makes me a monster, doesn't it?" Phoenix sat back down next to him, staring at the floor. No matter how many times Regulus had tried to tell her thoughts were wrong, she couldn't shake the feeling of disgust towards herself.

"Please don't do this."

"Do what?"

Rabastan's hand grabbed hers but she didn't dare look at him. As he spoke his voice sounded different, although she couldn't quite pin what the difference was. "Don't shut people out. I've done it for years because nobody ever cared and now I'm having difficulty opening up about my feelings to people I trust. I tend to push people away and hurt them, just like I did yesterday. I don't want you to do the same mistakes."