Hold You Down

Chapter 1 - Broken Hearts

It's not even noon yet, and they've had sex several times already.

Archie was thrilled at first, but quickly recognized his girlfriends avoidance tactics, as they were all too familiar to him now. He decided to probe while she was eating her lunch.

 "So... not that I'm complaining about this morning, but I'm on to you, you're hiding something" he asked trying to sound as harmless as possible while getting to the point.

Getting to the point was something Veronica had taught him to do, it's helped him cut his indecisiveness rambling in half. He can tell she's nervous by the way she avoids making eye contact, suddenly Archie's stomach is in knots as he anxiously anticipates his girlfriend's response. 

"Arch, I'm not hiding anything" she says smiling, hoping to throw him off of his scent. She knows it's not working by his facial expression, Veronica takes an ample sized bite of her salad in order to buy herself some time and come up with better excuses.

"Ronnie, you know that you can tell me anything, right? I mean we've been through so much, it's us against the world" she smiles because he's the kind of boyfriend who is attentive, Archie always remembered the small conversations they've had, this had always secretly impressed her.

Veronica looks at her wonderful boyfriend and her heart breaks because she knows she's about to break his, but at this point she's fully aware that she has to come clean.She had done something unforgivable and here she was prepared to beg for his forgiveness and understanding, even though she was prideful and stubborn by nature, Veronica was ready to get on her knees and beg him not to leave her.Leave. Her. 

She repeated those words in her head in panic.Archie was most definitely going to break up with her, and then she would truly be alone. He's been staring at her, watching her deep in thought, Archie knows she's conflicted about revealing whatever it is that has been bothering her, "Veronica" he says more seriously now, taking her hand and forcing some eye contact.

She looks at him again and can't control the tears welling up around her eyes, "Hey, come here" he says attempting to pull her into a hug, but she doesn't budge because she feels guilty accepting his comfort when seconds from now he will hate her. "Archie..." she tries again trailing off, Veronica is unable to to say anything further. "What is it Ronnie, just tell me? Please, your starting to scare me" he says hoping that will prompt a response. And it does."I made a mistake" is all she can get out and suddenly she's full on crying.

Archie quickly moves towards her to wrap her into his embrace, the sadness and fear in her voice are killing him."Whatever it is, we can fix it ok? I promise I will help you" He looks at her hoping that was the right thing to say, but somehow she only looks sadder. 

When she can finally see again, her vision still blurry from the tears her raspy voice whispers "I'm so sorry" almost inaudibly.Archie looks at her still in utter confusion, "You don't have to be sorry, just breathe" he says. So she does, taking a deep breath and exhaling elegantly. 

Veronica looks down for what feels like an eternity, finally she mumbles in the smallest and guiltiest voice "I cheated on you". Silence fills the room, she's afraid to look up, but also desperately needs to see his reaction.

Archie is shocked, his facial expression is telling. This is not what he was expecting, and before he even has time to process this information, Veronica is crying even harder then moments ago, repeatedly pleading with him to forgive her. "I'm so sorry, Archie... I'm sorry, I love you....I love you so much" she continues hoping that he'll say something.

But Archie is speechless, he feels as though the air has been knocked out of his lungs, his ability to process anything since she uttered that condemning sentence has come to a holt. Veronica looks at Archie's expression trying to read him, but his face is still stuck in a state of shock, "please say something" Veronica pleads.

"I.." he stammers, she reaches out to stroke his arm, but Archie recoils at her fingers making contact with his upper arm.Her touch brings him back into reality, he is flooded with emotions; betrayal, anger, sadness, Archie hangs his head down in defeat and starts to cry as well.The love of his life has just shattered his heart into a million pieces, and even though he wants to hate her, because no one has ever hurt him so badly, he also isn't ready to give her up.

Every thought in his head becomes conflicted, and finally as if his brain had shut off in order to protect himself from the sensitive information it was receiving.Veronica stares at her boyfriend's lost expression, uncertain of whether or not she should continue apologizing or just wait, she decides upon the latter. 

Minutes later Archie's thoughts started rushing back to him, provoking so many questions she had left unanswered."Who?" he says angrily, not really having the time to filter his aggression.She looks at him saddened, and even more terrified to tell him the answer to this question then the initial confession. Archie prepares himself for the worst, closing his eyes when he sees her opening her mouth, the moment of anticipation wearing at him.

"Reggie" he hears his friend's name coming out of her mouth and immediately feels nauseous. Images of Veronica and Reggie start to fill his mind, thinking about what a fuckboy Reggie has always been.

"Arch, it was the BIGGEST mistake I've ever made, I was drunk, mad and lonely, and I'm so sorry that's no excuse, but I promise you it meant nothing.... I instantly felt regret after..." she trails off.Archie looks up at her with a pained expression, he opens his mouth knowing he needed to ask, but also knowing he didn't want to hear the answer.

"After what...?" he says sadly, "Did you..fuck him?", Veronica's face answers his question immediately, she looks guiltier than a whore in church.Archie feels sick, thinking about Reggie's hands all over her body, or worse her reciprocating those touches. Veronica looks at him, through her crying she's still pleading, and hoping that he will find someway to forgive her, but with every passing minute she's realizing that his silence is telling of his lack of desire to forgive.

Archie can't bare to look at her at this point, he started thinking about the 'when, where, and why', now that the 'who' and 'what' had been answered, but he couldn't bring himself to question further, because deep down, he knew why, and probably when, thinking about the 'where', Archie started picturing Reggie all over Veronica, and her bed, his scent and sweat on her sheets, the same sheets they'd slept in since then. Archie was mentally kicking himself for jumping to any conclusions about the whereabouts as they were only making him feel worse, but what else could he think about? 

She cheated. She ruined them, and broke both of their hearts, these thoughts feed Archie's anger. And the more he pictured Veronica and Reggie fucking, the more frustrated he got, he wanted to if she had enjoyed it, was she lying about regretting it?, was it something she had wanted to do or did it truly just happened, did Reggie even have the decency to use a condom? Archie couldn't understand why he couldn't stop imagining them together, he could feel the bile rising up his throat, swallowing hard. They had just had sex over and over again this morning, but now knowing that she was capable of this, and worse of lying about it, he couldn't stomach it. Just knowing that Reggie had been inside her, and touched and kissed her the way only he was suppose to was pushing him further over the edge.Archie breathed deeply in an attempt to relieve his nausea, but his stomach was clearly not processing this information well either. 

"Archie..." Veronica tried again, he barely glanced at her before quickly darting his face down and vomiting.The entire content of his stomach came out of his mouth between gasps for air, into his lap and all over his t-shirt.

After he caught his breath, Archie momentarily felt relief, until the situation set in again.He was pathetic, sitting there covered in his own vomit, watching Veronica try to help him clean up with a paper towel. Handing him a glass of water and accidentally brushing up against him, for a moment he forgets that anything has happened and just thinks about how beautiful she is, and then like a storm cloud raining on his parade, all of those images come flooding back and Archie's anger is reignited.

"Leave" he says, it comes out monotone and unconvincing, partly because he knows he doesn't mean it, but mostly because he's terrified that she actually will.