Exposed

Hello

I can't really say why I'm writing this book other than to say, most of my life I've felt I've had trouble with people really listening to me. Finding and having a voice in this world. Perhaps, it's one of the reasons that spurred me to become the writer I am today. 

I've been writing my entire life. Poetry is usually my outlet for when simple words are just not enough to express the emotion I feel. My stories are my inspiration, the characters my friends, their world is created by as much my own desires about where I want to take them, as it is my characters telling me where they want to go. Not feeling I've been heard in life has made me an excellent listener. So good, in fact, that even my fictional character's get a voice and are heard. 

That may say sound crazy to some but I can't tell you how many times I think to force my will upon a character for story sake only to have them flat out refuse to comply and I get this feeling like...Ah, Ah, Ah  I wouldn't do that... or I would NEVER act that way! and I listen because what they inspire me to write instead is always better than what my idea was going to be. 

Wattpad has become a venue where I can not only get people to listen but read, feel, become captivated by every word and drive them to the brink of distraction wanting to know what will happen next. Clamoring almost yelling at me...especially when I take too long between updates... for more. It gave me a sense of power that I don't feel in my world that exists beyond the written page. 

In that world there is a lot of joy, my two sons, my husband, my relationships with friends and family although not at all times are they perfect but I would not wish them to be as I'm still working on my masterpiece. My story is not all told, it is in the process of being written and I am currently in mid struggle to become or get back to the person they all deserve me to be.

Life is not an enemy, but it does have a way of knocking me down. Recently, I've been down right K.O.'d. However, if I'm honest with myself all my defining moments came from when I was beat down and felt I couldn't do it... I just couldn't handle one more punch and I hear the count down begin.

1...2...3...I can't let this get the better of me. 

4...5...6 ... This is something I can fix.

7...8...I'm up!! I'm on my feet.

...9... "See! I'm fine."

I smile though it hurts

There was no 10

Now it's back in the ring

To begin again. 

I can't give up the fight. I can get lost in the woods sometimes but I have to begin again because I've learned if I don't, if I give up, everything I experienced, all that pain is for naught. I loathe unhappy endings. You'll see this in my other writings if you feel so inspired to read. I torture my poor characters. I torture my poor readers. 

Because lets face it, sometimes life is torture. 

But I also know a single truth. I experience immense pain in my own life because I am someone who cares and feels deeply for others. If I'm going to have you yelling at me, cursing me out while your reading a story of mine, I promise you will be rewarded. I am going to get something out of this and so are you. 

I'm going to make you laugh, cry, scream, maybe at times want to throw the book across the room, though I don't recommend this as you are reading on a digital device and computers and phones are expensive to replace. But I make you this promise. You will be rewarded for all the pain, just like I will. 

After all... I'm the writer of my OWN story, and so I often ask myself... "Charity, if you were a character in one of your stories what would you do?"

And the answer always is...

I'd go fight for my happily ever after.