Exposed

My Mom

My Mom is a very strong woman. She raised us three kids. She was an at home Mom. Who put herself through college when she was 35 and it took her 8 years part-time but she graduated Manga Cum Laude from her class at 43.

She is an amazing woman who has a voracious appetite for knowledge. She is the reason I love to read and got into writing in the first place because she simply adored the written word and the worlds it could create. She's also the reason I love romance stories especially historical romances as her book shelves were filled with Barbara Cartland, Violet Winspear, and Victoria Holt's stories. I read through most of them before the age of 14 and the complete collection of Janet Daily's romance series set in the states, one romance for each of the 50 states. 

She and my father established a world where we were safe and protected. I was teased as a child as being part of the Brady Bunch family. We were all considered "goody- goodies" but the reality of those taunts was the fact that we had parents that cared. I was never pressured into drug use, drinking, or smoking because frankly they knew it was a waste of their time. 

There wasn't a child in my school/church who did not know who my parents and grandparents were. And God bless her our house was the place to hang out for all of our friends. They all wanted to be there, even though we (my brother, sister and I) couldn't seem to figure out why, but it was truly the environment my Mom created. You always felt welcome in her home. Some did not want to leave and sort of became honorary adoptive family members, staying with us often or spending a week with us vacationing during the summer. 

She was the spiritual leader of the household too. Getting us involved in Catholic School, Church and Church activities. As young teens my sister and I would assist teaching Summer Bible School or Sunday Bible School, we belonged to the CYO(Christian Youth Organization), as we got older I even taught CCD (Confraternity of Christian Doctrine or Catechism for the younger children) at the church she was the Director of Religious Education at our parish.

She was an artist something her and my Father had in common yet they both would say they have no idea where all three of their children's artistry and creativity comes from. For my eighth grade dance my Mom cut out silhouettes of dancing couples out of cardboard and painted them to look like actual dancing couples to decorate the pillars in the auditorium. 

She made the holidays something fantastic as she is fascinated by anything fantasy oriented. She'd create an entire elf village in our living room (pixie sized of course) but it filled a complete table top. She used paper mache and made a nativity set that would sit on the kitchen table. Complete with stable, animals, shepherds, and three kings. 

The creche would be empty and she would give each of us at the start of advent a paper envelope with pieces of brown paper bag that she would cut and twist to make straw. In that envelope there was also a name of someone in the family and that person was your responsibility during advent. For each good thing you did for that person, at dinner, you got to add a straw to Jesus' bed, but there was a catch... you had to try and help without the person knowing it was you. 

So, all advent long you'd be getting help from some secret source and at Christmas Eve dinner you'd find out who your helper was. There's just something about random acts of kindness that gives you a feeling like no other, that I still practice it today. 

Once I became a teenage, our relationship changed.  My Mom and I started to seriously butt heads. It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized that the reason for this is that I reminded her too much of herself and she was, in fact, worried about me. 

Depression is something I struggle with, it worsened throughout my teen years and when I became pretty much solitary, my Mom told me I have a choice 'I can choose to live my life, or I can choose to exist through it but I can't do both.'