I Wanna Be Me Again

Chapter 5

Hey guys! New Chapter! Yay!

Ezra's pov

As I ran out of the kitchen I bumped straight into Sabine. "Hey Ezra, are you okay?" I gave her a half smile "Yep, if you'll excuse me I'll just get out of your way." I went to go around her, only to be grabbed by my arm. Sabine turned to face me, her eyes filled with sympathy and her grip on my arm gentle. "I only want to help you." Help you help you help you
The voices filled my head and everything went black.

Flashback to the health center

"We only want to help you." I gasped for air after having been pushed underwater for the fifth time today. "Compliance is necessary" one said as another chimed in "This will help clear some memories away, give you a more innocent child perspective again." "No wai-!" Before I could answer back my head was forced into the sink again. I tried to fight against the doctors and nurses but there were too many of them. They pulled me up again. "Stop! I wanna go home!" And back under I went.

Flashback over

I shot up with a panicked cry and checked my surroundings. I was relieved to find that I was on the ghost in the med bay, I was however not relieved to find the whole crew staring at me with pity.

Kanan's pov

When Ezra woke up the way he did, I knew that had to be really bad. "Ezra, it's okay I'm right here." He refused to look at me and violently wiped a few tears away. He got up and walked out of the room, leaving us all extremely confused and worried. Ezra....

Ezra's pov

Be stronger, just smile, cheer up, don't bother the others, just be happy... I walked to my room and closed the door behind me. I then proceeded to sit in the corner of them room and cry alone. After an hour of silent sobbing I went to the kitchen to grab a snack. "I don't know, Kanan." I paused in my steps and hid behind the door frame and listened. "We just got him back though." "Hera believe me, this is probably the hardest for me. I'm fighting my parent instincts about this as well." I frowned "Yes but sending him back to the medical center." I felt my heart race, my breathing hitch, and my throat become dry. "They can help him Hera." No....
I was suddenly bumped into by Zeb who put me exactly in Kanan and Heras sight. "Uh Ezra... I... Well.." Kanan said, trying to find the words to say. I backed myself up against the wall of the hall as I stared at the floor. Seconds later I couldn't contain the words in my head and began to quietly mumble to myself. "No no no..." "Woah Ezra honey calm down, it would only be for about three months." I snapped completely, I looked directly into Heras eyes and screamed at the top of my lungs with anger.  "No!" Kanan and the others looked at me with wide eyes. Normally I try to keep away from direct eye contact but that was not the case here, I looked at both Kanan and Hera with bitterness and fear. "I'm not going back to that hell hole ever again." And with that I ran outside into the wide open fields of Lothal.

Kanan's pov

"What just happened?" Sabine said as she strolled into the room, her voice full of concern. "It's a long story. Wait here I'm going to find him." I ran from the kitchen to the ramp of the ghost, hoping to find Ezra sitting there since it used to be his usual spot. Unfortunately he was gone... This is all my fault, I need to find him. I grabbed a speeder from in the back of the hanger and left to go find Ezra.

Ezra's pov

I ran as fast as my feet could carry me, neither knowing nor caring about  where I was going. With my vision blurry from tears I really couldn't tell which direction I was running in, maybe if I'm lucky I'm running in the direction of a cliff. That would be just fantastic really. After what felt like forever of running I stopped and noticed the sun had gone down and the stars had come up. I sat on the ground and looked up to the heavens with tears still escaping from my eyes. Why me, why couldn't they just kill me instead of... I would rather not think about it. All the torture and for what? It only made things worse, who would've guessed. I was taken back from my thoughts to here the sounds of a speeder closing in on me. I stood up, please be the empire or someone who wants to kill me please. "Ezra!" I groaned recognizing the voice and looked for the nearest cliff to jump off of, unfortunately for me fields don't have cliffs for the most part. Instead I ran, kind of pointless but I really really really didn't want to face Kanan at the moment. "Ezra wait!" I ignored Kanan and kept on running, but seconds later Kanan had jumped off the speeder and onto me. Please no, I don't want to go back.

Kanan's pov

I pinned Ezra down the best I could without causing him too much pain, which believe me it was very difficult with the kid scratching at me. I looked into his eyes expecting to be met with defiance but instead found fear. I reached out to him through the force and felt his overall emotions. Fear, pain, and stress. He was terrified, but of what? I went further in with the force and was shocked with what I discovered. It was me, Ezra is terrified of me. "Ezra calm down. I'm not going to hurt you." I stopped pinning him to the ground and pinned him to my chest. He still fought but soon began to stop and weep. "Ezra, I'm so sorry for whatever I did that may have done this to you. I never wanted to hurt you, whatever I did, I'm sorry. He cried "It wasn't you. *Sob* Can't you see? *Sob* It was them! All them!" He continued to sob into my chest as I felt my blood begin to boil.

Alright who do I need to bury.

Alright folks hope you enjoyed! Feel free to leave suggestions! I'll see you all later!

Col out🦊🐺🦊🐺🦊🐺🦊