Bizarre TRiUMPhant Tales

Bonus 3: The Political Man III

*** *** Weekend Write-In for 12th May 2017 *** ***

"sound": In 500 words, tell what happens when a sound disrupts the scene.

Soundbite.

'Minister! Minister?'

'Yes, chap with the ponytail.'

'Danton Blanc, Sunday Scrutiny.'

'Yes Danton, what is your question?'

'My question is actually to Mrs ... Here we are again ma'am, and you're still standing by your husband even in light of ...'

The Minister raised his hand. 'Danton, please. My wife has already made her statement and we did agree to give this informal press chat, only on condition that my family is not subjected to hassle from the press.'

'Minister, given your previous ... indiscretions ...'

'Scurrilous rumour mongering, taken out of context and explained every time.'

'All I'm saying Minister is that its a bit unlikely that these ... situations keep happening to you and my readers have a right to know ...'

'They do indeed Mr Blanc, but what they have a right to know is the truth!'

'What is the truth here then, sir?'

The Minister put his arm around his wife's shoulders and squeezed; his son Clive held his chin up high and looked supportive. 'The truth is that my family are suffering from ...'

'Your actions?'

'No! Certainly not!'

'Then what ...'

'Iifffff you'll allow me to finish, I shall tell you. This is nothing less than an attempt to smear me ahead of the coming election.'

'Oh come on Minister. Do you expect the people of Great Britain to believe ...'

'Please allow me to speak Mr Blanc and you'll hear the truth of the matter.'

Silence.

'Thank you. Now, as to the supposed story here, well I have already explained to my wife and children and have their full support. In fact my son Clive here was appalled.'

'At your actions?'

'No indeed! Appalled that the opposition should stoop so low and go against their own principles ... if they ever had them, that is.'

'Could you explain Minister?'

Clive coughed. 'If you'll allow me father.'

The Minister smiled warmly at his teenage son. 'Please do, my boy.'

Clive looked at the cameras. 'I may only be 15 but in my admittedly limited understanding of politics, I had thought that the opposition termed themselves progressives. Yet I am given to wonder ... as this attack on the reputation of a young migrant, over here attempting to better his life ... well it doesn't seem very progressive.'

The Minister took over. 'Indeed, if it were only I who were involved I could bear the insinuation, but here is a young man, only 19, one of our successful refugee integrations from Syria - a dedicated studious asset to our land and he has been attacked in the press because of his association with me! Preposterous ... that such a splendid young man, a medical student to boot, who attempted to aid me in an emergency, that HE should be dragged into this!'

'The facts were clearly ...'

'Open to interpretation? Well, allow me to clear this up once and for all. It is true that I visited young Achmed in his government housing block as part of a fact finding mission.'

'Father mentioned this to me,' put in Clive. 'He wanted to personally address the heating malfunction in the building.'

'It was a balmy 80 degrees,' added the Minister. This was the reason, coupled with the heating going at full blast that we were photographed in our boxer shorts through the window.

'Having drinks together?'

'To cool down. Then of course out of sight of the camera there was the unfortunate spillage which obliged us both to remove our undergarments, which the young man kindly offered to wash and dry. In fact he was bending down to put them in the dryer when the incident occured.'

'Go on.'

'I suffered a minor heart palpitation which caused me to stumble forward and accidentally penetrate him from behind.'

'With a full erection?'

'MI5 is looking into a very credible chain of circumstance which suggests that both our drinks had been doctored with viagra.'

'The video shows you behind him for over 5 minutes.'

'Well of course, I had passed out and my weight pressed down on the poor lad. He vigorously shook himself to get out from under me, but in such a way that I didn't fall and cause myself further harm. Having achieved this, this noble youth laid me on my back and straddled me in such a way that he be best able to administer medical assistance and THAT ladies and gentlemen of the press is the true, innocent circumstances of this occurrence, which the opposition have so foully attempted to twist for political capital.'

BEEP BEEP.

'Father, your meeting with the Foreign Secretary...'

'Ah thank you Clive. And thank you all for coming, but I really must go. Thank you... And I trust that will be the end of the matter.' *Puts arm around his wife, who smiles awkwardly at the gathered members of the press.

As they go back inside, The Minister and his son Clive exchange a knowing glance.

Tomorrow there will be another hot story and this will all be forgotten.

And so there was. And so it was.

Fin.