HOLDING A BUTTERFLY [𝕮𝖔𝖒𝖕𝖑𝖊𝖙𝖊𝖉]

Chapter: 13-Realisations

The path to the truth is the labor of the heart, not of the head! Make your heart your primary guide, Not your mind. Meet, challenge and ultimately prevail over Nafs with your Heart! Knowing yourself will lead you to the knowledge of God!
~Forty Rules Of Love'

~Ayat~

Coming out of my blinks, I was absorbing what I saw.
He.. He was praying Isha (night prayer).
As a matter of fact, my bitter college memories didn't let me hold a positive perspective of men. But the most peaceful sight of muslims for me was to see them gathering at masjid(mosque) for salah(prayer). Specially, jumah's Salah is a worth watching site.
I still remember my university's mosque. Boy's on ground floor while girls in basement, all performing sajdah while silently whispering

سبحان ربي الأعلى.
Indeed your Rabb is Greatest of all.

The silence in the air. Bird's chirp their own gratitude. Truly a divine message.

When it comes to family, I was never attached to my father or brothers emotionally.
I wasn't a daddy's girl at all but he use to takecare of me in every need for which I'm forever thankful to Allah and then him. My brothers and I only have a teasing, chattering bond. After all, they are younger and are not so pro in dealing such a weirdo sister. My mum had been my best friend as well as my best critic.
Though we end up in arguments most of the time, but the fact that I can't imagine my life without her will remain evident.
May Allah bless my family always aameen.

I don't know why I was overwhelmed , seeing him like this. Though lost in my imagination, I didn't ignore how calm and smooth was his prayer.
It felt like he would found every solution of his life here or if not he may find courage to fight for it.

And a sudden inner voice whispered like a pang of pain,
'what happened to you Ayat? '

From the past few days, I wasn't able to concentrate on Salah properly and my lesson of Mushaf were continuously discontinued.
It hit me so hard. People forget their Lord when they're happy but how can I forget my weakness. I'm the one who forgot my Lord in my despair. I always use to act this repulsive when something came crushing my emotions but since last one year, when I started Quraan regularly, I promised to work on my every weakness.
But. This happened again.
Yaa Allah I'm weak help me. A prayer of broken heart.
I suddenly recalled the meaning of my last read Ayah.

إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يَظْلِمُ ٱلنَّاسَ شَيْئًا وَلَٰكِنَّ ٱلنَّاسَ أَنفُسَهُمْ يَظْلِمُونَ (10:44)

Indeed, Allah does not wrong the people at all, but it is the people who are wronging themselves.

YA ALLAH is it me myself wronging me? But how YA Allah?
I've been betrayed. So many times. How can I wrong myself?

"It's not your fault. Sometimes things are destined to be out of our control but you should have faith. The wrong we do to ourselves is losing our faith at our loss!"

His voice came a like a echo in quiet hills.
I didn't even realise when did he just finish his Salah and was replying to Imaan for something.
But it was not for her.
This.
This was for me.