Heathers Lyrics [Genderbend]

My Dead Gay Child

RAM'S MOM
You wait just a minute, Paulene!
It is ignorant, hateful talk like yours that makes this world a place our girls could not live in!
They were not dirty!
They were not wrong!
They were not lonely verses
in the Lord's great song!

KELLY'S MOM
Our girls were pansies, Brit!

RAM'S MOM
Yes! My girl's a homosexual,
and that don't scare me mild--
I want the world to know...
I love my dead gay child!
I've been thinking. Praying.
Reading some magazines. And it's time we opened our eyes.
Well, the good Lord made the universe
The Lord created woman.
And I believe it's all a part of his gigantic plan.
I know God has a reason
for each mountain and each flower, and why he chose to let our girls get busy in the shower!
They were not dirty --
They were not fruits!
They were just two stray laces in the Lord's big boots.
Well, I never cared for homos much until I reared me one, but now I've learned to love...
I love my dead gay child!

CONGREGATION
She loves her child, she loves her child!
Her dead gay child!

RAM'S MOM
Now, I say my girl's in heaven and she's tanning by the pool.
The cherubim walk her and her, and Jesus says it's cool!!
They don't have crime or hatred, there's no bigotry or cursin' --
Just friendly fellows dressed up like their fav'rite village person!
They were not dirty --
They just had flair!
They were two bright red ribbons in the Lord's long hair.
Well, I used to see a homo and go reachin' for my gun,
but now I've learned to love...
And furthermore! --
(to Kelly's mom)
These girls were brave as hell!
These girls, they knew damn well!
Those folks would judge 'em, they were desperate to be free!
They took a rebel stance, stripped to their underpants!
Paul, I can't believe that you still refuse to get a clue, after all that we been through --
I'm talking you and me!

In the summer of '83.

(Congregation gasps)

KELLY'S MOM
That.... was one hell of a fishing trip.

(A long beat. Kelly's mom approaches Ram's mom and kisses her, hard. They embrace.)

CONGREGATION
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
They were not dirty - Whoa!
And not perverse -- No no!
They were two stray rhinestones
on the Lord's big purse!

BOTH MOMS
Our jobs are now continuing that work that they begun!

CONGREGATION
'Cause now we love, love, love!
We love your dead --

BOTH MOMS
They're up there disco dancing to the thump of angel wings!
They grab a mate and roller skate while Judy Garland sings!
They live a playful afterlife that's fancy-free and reckless!

KELLY"S MOM
They swing upon the pearly gates --

BOTH MOMS & CONGREGATION
And wear a pearly necklace!
Whoo!
They were not dirty!
They were good women!
And now they're happy bear cubs in the Lord's big den!

BOTH MOMS
Go forth and love each other now, like our girls would have done.

EVERYONE
We'll teach the world to love...

BOTH MOMS
I love my dead gay child!
My child! My child!

CONGREGATION
Not half bad, your dead gay child!
Wish I had your dead gay child!
Thank you, mom, for your...

BOTH MOMS & CONGREGATION
Dead gay child!