Love Explosion: Book Two

Panic

          TRIGGER WARNING: this chapter will involve panic attacks and mentions of that, so if you are sensitive to that sort of thing, please don't read. Also, Sea is pronounced as Shay or Shea, not sea as in the ocean.

There had been talk of Harry putting his name in the Goblet just to get attention, I didn't believe them. If Harry says he didn't do it, then he probably didn't. Regardless of what he said people had started wearing these badges to make fun of him. I felt bad for him. I was walking down the open hall with Ron and Seamus. Ron wasn't even the slightest bit okay with Harry. I was picking on Seamus.

"It's not like I try to blow things up, exactly," he stated.

"Mhmm, sure babe, sure."

"I just happens a fair bit," he said, "You have to admit though, fire's pretty fascinating."

"See, Sea," I said, "that's why- "

"You're a right foul git, you know that?" Harry stormed up to Ron as we were going to go through the courtyard.

"You think so?" Ron asked.

"I know so."

"Anything else?" Ron asked, clearly annoyed.

"Yeah, stay away from me," Harry said.

"Fine," Ron pushed passed. I let him, and Seamus walk on.

"Hey Harry, I just wanted to let you know," I said, "I believe you. About the Goblet."

"Thanks, Y/N." He replied. I nodded and caught up with Seamus and Ron.

"What was that about?" Ron asked. I shook my head,

"Nothing," I turned when I heard my name being called.

"Y/N! Y/N, come here!" It was Hannah at my left.

"Oh, hey, that's Hannah," I said to Seamus, "I got to go."

"Alright," he kissed me, "I'll catch up with ya later then?" I nodded. Hannah was sitting with Carson and a few others. I stopped in front of her. She turned and flashed one of those horrible pins.

"Here, I got one for you!" She put one out to me. I shook my head,

"Nah, it's okay, I'm good," I said, as politely as I could. I noticed everyone there was wearing one.

"What? Why?" She stood up.

"Because, Harry's my friend," I sighed. She gave me a look of disgust.

"How can you be friends with him? He's a cheat!"

"You only say that because everyone else is," I turned and started walking away before I said something I'd regret. She followed me.

"Are we even friends anymore?" She asked, clearly not happy with me.

"Yeah? I never said we weren't," I said, "I just said that I was friends with Harry."

"Well, if you're going to be friends with him then we can't be friends anymore." She walked away. I felt tears well in my eye. What did I do? I thought. I could feel a panic attack fast approaching. Quickly I made it to a girl's bathroom. I sat against the wall and tried to calm myself. I pulled my hair and tried to breathe.

Hermione's POV

As I was making my way from the library I saw Y/N run into a bathroom. She looked like she was crying. When I got in, she was sitting against the wall. I could tell she was having a panic attack. Sitting down next to her, I wrapped my arms around her and tried to gently remove her hands from her head. I knew how to deal with her panic attacks, her old friend Hailey had told me a few years back. I also read up on them. She didn't want anyone else, including Seamus, to know about her panic attacks.

"I can't breathe! I can't breathe!" she continued to mutter, breathing heavily.

"You're okay, everything's going to be okay. Shh, shh, shh," I whispered to her. I felt bad because when I wasn't around, and she'd have a panic attack, she was all alone. She and Hailey weren't on the greatest terms right now. She would go off by herself and deal with it all alone.

After about five minutes, it subsided, and she calmed down.

Regular POV

Usually, I never remembered my panic attacks, only what happened to cause it, today's was no different. As always, my hands shook. Hermione helped me stand and get to the sink. Luckily, I wore waterproof mascara today, so it wasn't smeared down my face. I took another minute to calm down, then Hermione and I left. Against my will, she took me to Madam Pomfrey who gave me a note to give to any teachers tomorrow who would be wondering why I skipped my classes today.

"Now, I want you to go back to the tower and rest," she said, pointing to me. I nodded. I told Hermione to just tell people who asked that I got a migraine. She had to get to class, so I walked to the tower alone.

After I changed into a shirt and leggings, I sat on the couch and worked on some stuff for my classes. Even though it had been almost 45 minutes since the panic attack, my hands still shook, preventing me from writing. I pulled my hair back, wiped off my all my makeup, and then took my hair back down. There was only one class left. I grabbed a throw pillow and laid down on the couch. Honestly, I didn't ever take naps, but I was exhausted from my panic attack, so I fell asleep. It only felt like I had been asleep for a few minutes when I jolted awake. The painting was opening and students in loud conversations entered. From the stress of the day, I had started to get a headache. Though, it wasn't a migraine. Hermione came and sat across from me. I sat up.

"Listen, before you get mad, I had to okay?" She got up and began going for the stairs.

"Wait, Hermione, what?" I asked. She turned and mouthed 'sorry!' and ran to the girls' dormitories. I shook my head and leaned back, my legs folded beside me. The couch dipped down beside me. I looked over and tiredly smiled, "Hey, babe." Seamus put his arm around me.

"Hey, how you feelin'?" he asked. I leaned on his chest, "Hermione told me what happened."

"I'm fine. I just needed some sleep and the migraine went away mostly," I lied.

"No, she told me what really happened," he said. That's what she was talking about. I stared at my hands.

"She did?" he nodded.

"Why would you keep something like that from me?" he asked. I shook my head, putting it in my hands. I shrugged. People crowded the Common Room, absorbed in their own conversations. Sighing, I grabbed his hand and stood up,

"C'mon," I pulled him out past the painting, so no one could hear us. Nobody was around. I turned to face him, he raised an eyebrow at me, "Okay, I kept this from you because... well... I didn't – I didn't want you to think you had a girlfriend who, every time she got upset would- would have no control over herself. Who would just sit and shake and cry for no reason. Because it- because it sucks! I didn't want you to have to go through that too. Nobody wants a girlfriend like that," I crossed my arms and looked everywhere but his eyes. Finally, I looked at him, he smiled.

"Ya know what? A girlfriend like that sounds bloody amazing," he said. I laughed and shook my head. I wrapped my arms around his neck, he wrapped his arms around my waist, I kissed him. As I pulled away, I rested my forehead against his.

"You're perfect, you know that?"

"Eh, I try," I laughed with him.