The Beautiful & Damned

05 - Regret

regret - /rɪˈɡrɛt/
a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over an occurrence or something that one has done or failed to do

Gerald's Point Of View
"That's great Bee, just a tone down at the chorus and you're set." I said. Bee was at the studio again, I was helping him arrange a few things regarding his last song from the EP he's working on.
He smiled at me and gave me a nod.

It was almost 9pm and Marty has been buzzing me non stop for the last hour. We had a reservation down at The Ace nightclub as usual. I wasn't in the mood for partying but I already promised the guys and Bee is coming as well, so I kinda had to go.
When we wrapped it up at the studio I headed back up to the apartment.
I poured myself some water and smoked a cigarette before getting ready. I always go light at home because at the club, it gets crazy. There's always enough drinks, weed and hoes so I don't really need any pregame.

I slicked my hair back, put on a fresh white button-down and straight black pants. I grabbed my vans and a leather jacket from the closet and finished up in the living room. I looked at my couch and chuckled; It'll always remind me of that cutie I met last night and her long blonde hair. She's so freaking adorable. I even thought about inviting her to the club with us but I prefer just talking to her and all that. Clubs are too crowded and there's always someone around, people constantly coming up, sayin hi, getting drunk. I had a feeling she would hate it.
Marty picked me up and we drove off.

"So, how was last night?" He asked, changing the radio station.

"It was good; I actually met this girl..." I tried to explain because I know what he was gonna ask me; what he always does.

"Yeah? How was she?" There it was, the million dollar question.

"I didn't smash her." I said, realizing that it's the first time in at least two years since that happened.

"Whaaaat? Hold on, G didn't smash? Elaborate!" He demanded.

"I don't know man, she told me not to." I repeated cutie's words.

"And you just went with it..."

"What was I supposed to do, I ain't forcing anything." I said.

"You don't have to." He chuckled. I just sighed and looked at him. "So what is it with this girl, what did you do?"

"Nothin'. We got some food, chilled at the beach for a while, we went to the shop and ended up at my place." I explained.

"Where you didn't smash." He repeated.

"Come on man, she's too cute for that; you should've seen her."

"Why didn't you invite her tonight?" He asked.

"I thought about it but nah."

"Why not?" He wanted to know.

"She wouldn't like it, besides, it's too loud, too crowded." I said.

"Oh my god, I thought I'd never see this day again!" He exclaimed.

"What you mean?" Marty was a professional at exaggerating.

"You liking a girl." He replied.

"Jesus." I chuckled.

"Ha! You really do, don't you."

"Just shut up and drive." I smiled as I looked out the window. I don't know about what he said but I knew one thing; cutie is nothing like the other girls and I met a lot of them.

An hour and a half later I was already nicely sedated with my drug of choice; whiskey. Me and the guys were discussing music, drinking and generally having a good time. I was getting closer to that tipsy stage when Bee arrived, bringing a bunch of girls with him.

"Sup Bee!" I greeted him. We were in our VIP section with our own security guards.

"G, my man!" He said loudly. "Staci, meet the man, the myth, the legend, he's producing my shit."

"Hey, I'm Staci with an I." She introduced herself, already eyeing me.
She had long dark brown hair and was wearing a super short red strapless skintight dress along with black strappy high heeled sandals.

"Gerald." I leaned closer and introduced myself, putting my arm around her waist. She smiled and winked at me.
I got her a drink and a seat at the table right next to me.
Things quickly escalated from there. With every shot I took I was more interested in Staci, listened to all the shit she was saying. The whole time she was talking I was only thinking about one thing; how I'm gonna smash her when we get back to my place.
Nothing unusual for me. At about 2am everyone was so fucking lit and having a good time, dancing, singing along while Staci was sitting in my lap and we were making out.
"Come on." I said and she followed me like a lost puppy.
I got us an uber to my place, so we rolled out.

When we stepped into my apartment, I shut the door, taking off my jacket then focused on her. I pulled her little dress down, lifting her up and pressing her against the wall.
She was moaning, her nails digging into the skin on my back. I sucked on her tits, licked her everywhere, then I carried her to the dining table and put her on it, face down. I didn't even take my clothes off, I just unzipped my pants and pulled them down as much as I needed in order to shove my dick inside her.
I was completely numb, fucking her with a taste of whiskey on my breath.
This is what I was used to, it's been happening a lot over the past two years.

"Oh yeah Casey." I groaned.

"It's Staci, baby." She moaned out.

"Yeah, whatever." I mumbled and kept on doing my thing, then I pulled it out and picked her up again. We continued things in the bedroom, where I came on her face and finished.
After that my head hit the pillow and I fell asleep, tired as hell.

I woke up in my shirt half unbuttoned and my underwear on. I also had a nasty headache so I got up to get a glass of water and a painkiller or two. I saw Staci with and I was still in my bed, knocked out and butt naked. I went to the living room, downed a pill with some water and took a seat on the couch.
I felt worse than I usually do; I regretted it more too. A part of me was so sick of these club hoes, they're all the same; yeah they might look good but none of them are special, just transparent and predictable.
I leaned my elbows on my knees and buried my face into my palms. Letting out a loud sigh I lifted my head up and noticed Staci's strappy sandal on the floor. I picked it up and grinned. It looked a lot like cutie's little heels.
I leaned back and just sat there on the couch with that shoe in my hand.
I wished for cutie and her adorable smile to be here instead of miss Staci with and I.

She woke up an hour later and I made up an excuse why she can't stay. Then I gave her my cell so she could put her number in it, which she did. I also deleted it right after she left.
I spent the next two hours drinking orange juice mixed with water and a lot of ice, thinking about last night.

Insane regrets.