§ Painkillers § Bucky Barnes

Go ahead and try

A/N: Warning in this chapter there is talk about self harm. It's mild, but still there.

Alexandra's P.O.V.

'Ugh my head.' I thought as I sat up on my cot. My head was throbbing when suddenly the pain intensified. "Ah! My.. my head... it hurts!" I tried to yell, but it didn't work my throat felt weird. "Loki." I muttered in disgust. Remembering the events from the last 12 hours or so.

Though saying his name didn't help the pain, it actually worsened it. It was getting more painful at a quicker rate. I looked around the room to make sure no one was in there. 'All clear' I thought.

I moved the light cot to the side to reveal that corner of the glass that I had been scratching at, thinning it out for days. From this activity I had little to no fingernails. I was saving it for an important moment, well now seems as important as ever.

My head feels like it's going to explode. I felt like I'm a mile underwater and the pressure is too much. 'I just need to even out the pain' I thought.

I aimed my fist at the part of the glass that I had thinned out. "One. Two. Three." I murmured. With that my fist collided with the glass shattering it. Immediately alarms started to go off. 'This is my chance.... my chance to escape.' I thought. Another voice invaded my head. 'Go. Run, child, run as fast as you can, for as long as you want. Get as far away from here as you'd like. You won't escape me.' Loki's voice boomed in my head. "I can damn well try." I said in a low raspy tone. I grabbed a shard of glass and took off.

I was running down the halls with Loki speaking in my head. It was weird because most the time he would be doubting me, like he always did, saying things like 'You can't escape. Just give up. It's no use.' Then when I was confused on where to go he would be... helpful saying things like 'Take a left here. Keep going straight. Take the next two rights.' It was like having my own personal GPS in my head. It was painful, creepy, but useful. That is until 'You have arrived at your destination' I could feel Loki disappear from my head. I was at a door, I reached to open it when it automatically opened up. That's when I came face-to-face with "Tony?" I breathed. I realized what happened. Loki lead me right to him. As soon as I comprehended what happened I took off, just not fast enough. "Steve. After her!" Tony demanded. "Come on please help me fast dude." I muttered. 'I'm sorry I can't.' The boy said with a sad look on his face. "And why not?" I asked angered. 'Because I'm not really here' I stopped dead in my tracks. Then remembered why I was running. Just then a pair of strong arms rapped around my small frame.

The man took me back to the room where Tony was. "Steve?" I asked. "Yes?" He replied. "Can I see your friend, Bucky?" I asked as we walked in. "Agh. Perfect timing." I said as I laid eyes on Bucky. The pain still unfamiliar. "Bucky can a ask you a question?" I questioned in an innocent tone. "You just did." He replied plainly. "Steve put me down. I swear I won't run." I promised. Steve put my down cautiously. He nodded to Tony and the door shut, instantly blocking my way out.

"Okay then, question." I stated, out right telling him that I had a question. "Answer." He said not look up from his book. "Ugh you are IMPOSSIBLE." I was getting pissed off. "Ok ok. Ask away." He gave me permission. "May I touch you?" "What?!" "Not like that you pervert. I mean like place my hand on you shoulder?" I asked. Bucky gave Steve a weary look. Steve just shrugged his shoulders. "I guess."

Bucky's P.O.V.

Not gonna lie I was weirded out by this girl. Not like Sam or Bruce weirded out. More curiously weirded out. Alexandra started to walk towards me reaching her hand out. She touched my shoulder and immediately went into some sort of trance. Tony and Steve were having an intense looking conversation about this, not really paying attention to what's happening. After a minute or two I felt a weird little trickle down the inside of my black T-Shirt. I looked over at her hand and noticed, that while in her trance she cut her wrist with what looked to be a shard of glass. I moved my head upward to look at her face. Tears. New wet ones covering the old dry ones that still stained her face. Her eyes were red and puffy like she had been crying for hours. Which she was.

When no one is around, typically when everyone was asleep and I was awake due to the nightly dose of night terrors, I would watch her sleep. Not in a creepy way. I would just watch the security footage of her, and at that hour of the night she just happened to be sleeping.

"Uh Steve." I said, uncomfortable with this. "Yeah buck- Oh my- what happened!?" Steve asked while removing her hand from my shoulder and held in while Tony went to get bandages.

I herd Alexandra murmuring something to herself "Ice... wipe... no memories... what am I?... kill... wreak... destroy... no mercy... there is no coming back... you are The Winter Soldier!..." it's like she was reading my memories -no- my dreams. "You are really something Alexandra Carter."

A/N: I edited the description, make sure you go and read it. It is very important because you will probably be very confused if you don't read it.

I hope you all are enjoying this book!

-JinxedSanity