UNWANTED BUTTERFLIES | VKOOK

3

Chapter 3: Wish You Were Here

"I have a system. Well, at least I had a system," Jungkook explains at his cousin as they both get inside the black and sleek company car, the driver already knowing where to head to.

"Right. I guess you want me to ask you which system we're talking about," Hoseok rolls his eyes as he sets his briefcase in the middle of them. Let's just say that after spending most of his life dealing with Jungkook, he knows him well too much. He's like his little brother, much to Namjoon's despite.

"I used to sleep with Taehyung and then Yugyeom and the following day, I'd sleep with Wonho and---"

"I already know you're a manwhore, why am I hearing your sex schedule?" The older asks scrunching his nose in disgust. He feels sick even imagining Jungkook sleeping with that many people in one week. How doesn't he get tired? That's a hell of stamina.

"My point is that I had a system. And then I started fucking Taehyung almost every day and that's not in the system. I can't fuck a guy more than once or twice a week," Jungkook shakes his head, and Hoseok can see the slight desperation and impatience on his eyes. He was always one for worrying too much about the smallest of things and placing too much responsibility on his own actions. Hoseok's uncle, the head of the company, was always too harsh on his youngest son while he was growing up and had an obvious preference for Namjoon. Regardless of how they never actually talk about it, Hoseok still remembers the nights he'd spend playing video games with his cousin when he needed a distraction or simply hugging him when things got too tough; when his dad would call him a menace, would yell at him to change, to be better, to be like Namjoon.

Jungkook was quite literally forced to give up his dreams for the family's company. It doesn't surprise Hoseok at all that he hates it so much.

"Why not?" He asks, his voice softer than usual due to the memories that flash through his mind.

"Because then I get sick of them and they last less and I have go through the hardships of finding someone else to take their place," Jungkook replies, and his cousin knows he doesn't realize how cold he sounds, how mean, how he's basically treating people as if they were a piece of meat.

"Oh, the struggle," Hoseok replies, sarcasm clear on his voice.

"You don't understand. I didn't get tired, isn't that weird? That's weird, I hate the guy," the younger sighs deeply, and in that breath alone he tries to sway all worries away.

"Who cares if you like fucking him?"

"I care. It was supposed to last about a month and now---"

"Now you miss him," Hoseok finishes his sentence, hoping for the other to notice he too can have nice emotions, sweet and pink feelings for other human beings. And that above all, it's okay not to be okay.

"I don't miss him. I just---I don't know," Jungkook says, his voice muffled by the hands covering his face and it's then that he can see how the other is truly struggling, battling against himself and the dark words that have been running through his head for way too long. With a pang on his chest, his cousin realizes the man next to him is still the kid he's known for so many years.

"You did it on purpose," Hoseok realizes then with the calmness and patience of a professional therapist.

"What? I did what on purpose?" The younger questions, confusion written all over his face as he sets his hands on his lap.

"You made him get mad at you... well, more than normal," he cracks a smile before continuing, "so you wouldn't have to fuck him anymore because it scares you how much you want him." He finishes as the car turns on a sharp left that has both of their bodies almost jumping on their spots.