Before She Even Knows

Chapter 1 - The best years of my life

I've waited for this moment my entire life. The day that I can finally say I'm living my own life and getting out of the hole that is Hellertown, where I was born and raised.

As I step into my dorm at Boston College for the first time, I have mixed feelings.

I feel excited, scared, happy, frightened, all at once. I mean, I've imagined this moment hundreds of times, but now that I'm here, I'm starting to freak out.

''You must be Emma. I'm Madeleine, but everyone calls me Mads.'' The girl standing in front of me has the brightest smile I've ever seen.

She seems really nice, what helps me to be a bit less anxious about the whole thing.

Her hair is platinum blonde, put in a high ponytail and she has big green eyes with very long eyelashes. She's hasn't stopped smiling since I arrived, with her perfect make-up and her doll looking like face.

''Yes, I'm Emma. It's nice to meet you.'' I try not to sound too excited, but when she giggles, I immediately know she's probably as excited as I am.

I look around to take everything in and I see her dorm side is decorated with flags and posters of the BC Cheerleaders team, along with some photos. She sees me glancing at her wall and tries to make conversation.

''I was a cheerleader in high school. People say I'm too cheerful and happy all the time to do something else.''

''There was a time I wish I was a cheerleader too, but I guess I'm just not talented enough.'' I smile back at her.

''Well, with practice everyone can make it. So, what is your sport? I mean, are you into anything?''

I guess this is how you start to get to know your roommate, right?

''I'm more into literature, academic clubs, that nerd kind of things. Not that I'm a nerd, I'm not, I just, well, I like to read more than I like to exercise.''

''That sounds nice.'' My fear of having a terrible roommate starts to fade, at least for now. ''So, tell me more about you, as we'll be friends, we need to know everything about each other.''

I'm not known for being an open person, as I've been through a lot, but maybe this is an opportunity to start fresh. New city, new friends, new life.

Mads clearly doesn't have problems with opening up and telling stuff about her life, because we spent the next couple of hours talking about ourselves and college. Well, she did most of the talking.

She also helped me organize all my stuff and settle in.

I know now that she is from West Hartford, a town about an hour and half from here, her boyfriend's name is Mark and he also goes to BC. Her best friends from high school are also here and I can't stop thinking about how lucky she is to have her friends together.

I wish I had mine here as well, it would make everything so much easier.

Mads is a sophomore, majoring in journalism, which for some reason I'm not surprised and she also works for the school's newspaper besides her Cheerleading duties.

I told her a little bit about my life in Hellertown, but not all the details. She doesn't need to know about the crap I've been through growing up.

How am I supposed to tell someone I barely know that my father doesn't care about me and my mother died when I was born?

Yeah, I better skip that part.

I also told her about how I've always wanted to go to Boston College, that I'm majoring in English and I want to work for a magazine when I graduate. Most English majors I know want to go to a Publishing house or become a writer, but I've always been fascinated for magazine editors.