Before She Even Knows

Chapter 15 - 'Only happens to Emma White' list.

When we pull away from each other, sooner than I actually wanted, we're both panting, our faces still inches away.

I thought he would yell at me right after we pulled away, but he's just staring right into my eyes and I can't really get what's the emotion I see in them.

It looks like surprise, amusement, anger, confusion all together, so I have no idea what to expect.

All I know is that what I'm feeling right now is a mix of absolute fear for his reaction and wanting to kiss him again.

I remember that Diana must still be standing there, so I break our intense stare to see if she's actually watching the whole thing, as there's no sound coming from her or her friends.

She's with the most shocked expression I've ever seen in my life. She looks furious and without another word, she spins on her heels with her friends and leaves us both alone to deal with this awkward situation.

He lets go my waist - that I just now realized he was still holding - and takes a step back.

''What the hell Emma? Why the fuck would you do that?'' Here comes the yelling. I was right.

''I... I'm sorry. I don't know what got into me, I just--''

''You just what? Have you completely lost your mind? Never, I mean it, never do that again.''

He's really angry and is pacing from one side to the other getting the attention of a few people. I don't know if I should try to calm him down or just go away.

''You're unbelievable, really. You think you can just go around kissing people to use them, just like you always do. What the fuck is your problem?'' He takes a step towards me and I flinch.

''What do you mean by 'using people like I always do'? I'm not like that Noah, you know it.''

''Do I? Do I really know that? Because all I see right now is a spoiled girl who thinks she can do whatever the fuck she wants and no one will care.''

I know he's controlling himself to not to lose his shit, so I take another step back almost by instinct. I don't think I've ever seen him this angry and I do see him frown a lot, so that says something.

I look around and see some people still staring at us, pretending that they aren't really paying attention when in reality I know they're dying to listen to every word.

I just hope that none of our friends are there to see this and thankfully I don't see any of them. If I'm lucky, maybe they didn't see the kiss as well.

I'm not sure what to do or say to him. I know it's all my fault, I kissed him out of no where, so I can't blame him for being mad, but I can't help but feel hurt.

He passes his hand through his hair, clearly frustrated and he turns his back to me and disappears into the house, bumping on a few people on the way.

Now I'm tipsy, almost crying and left alone in this stupid party.

Just. Fucking. Perfect.

I don't want anyone to see me cry, so I walk to the door and leave without even thinking where I'm going. I will text Ryan later to tell him I went back to the dorms.

Oh, Ryan. I totally forgot I was even here with him. He must be worried as I simply disappeared.

I realize I have no idea where I'm going or even how far we are from the campus. Damn me for not paying attention to the way on the bus. I check my phone, but it's out of battery.

I try to remember the bus line or anything that will help me, but all that comes to my mind is a big blank. Where is my memory when I need it?

Just when I thought this couldn't get any worse. Oh, what a remarkable night.