Title: Planned Future
Author: Whitegata1
Rating: G
Genre: Teen Fiction; Romance
Sumary: Emily Walters lives a prefect life, like a regular teenage girl. But one day everything changes. It seems as her parents have married her to the son of the Ashton family, Luke Ashton. Emily quickly comes to the conclusion that she hates Luke, who just seems to be a cold-hearted player, and she is willing to do anything to drive him out of her life. But then their parents decides that he should move into her house- after all, they are a married couple, they should be living under the same roof. This just makes Emilys' life more complicated, as she secretly has a crush on an other guy- the hottest, most popular guy in her school
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THE REVIEW:
First of all, the word ‘future’ in your title “Planned future” needs to be capitalized. Titles are the first thing that draws the reader into the story, and you don’t want something as small as capitalization to lose your readers.
You have a great start. The plot line is interesting, and there are many opportunities to expand it. My only worry is that it will turn cliché. Right now, it isn’t, but just try to include twists in it that will prevent it from becoming boring.
There are just a few thoughts I have about the “Table of Contents” page, or the summary. For the reader, it’s confusing to determine whether the main character is actually engaged to the man, or if she’s just promised to him. Personally, I interpreted it as she was forcefully engaged to this guy. However, you also state the main character is in high school. The fact that she is engaged in high school is kind of unrealistic, therefore it brings doubts into the readers mind. I would clarify in the summary whether the character is actually engaged, or just promised to him.
The spacing between the paragraphs is odd. That may be due to copy and pasting, or something else. I would leave a blank line between paragraphs to make it easier to read.
Some of the sentences don’t flow that well, due to them being fragments. To fix this, just go and revise. It’s not very difficult, just time consuming.
Like most stories on Wattpad, there are grammar errors. I would highly, highly suggest that you go through and revise carefully. Errors bring the professionalism of your piece down a lot, and you don’t want your readers to leave your story based on simple grammar mistakes. Once these grammar mistakes are fixed, readers will enjoy reading your writing much more. I’ve found it helps when you have a friend edit your writing, because they often catch little mistakes that you missed before.
Overall, you have a great plot and storyline, and that’s half the battle. Now it’s up to you to fix the pesky little errors.
Good job with creating an interesting story, and good luck with your writing! :)
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