COOL KIDS

Prologue

It's been three months since... my brother died in a car accident but still, I feel broken in the inside. I've just lost someone that really matters to me and it happen really fast. For me, he's the best brother I've ever had and he'll always be the coolest person I know.

It's sad to accept the fact that he's gone and I can't do anything about it. I mean, he's a good person, loving and kind, always have the care for others. He always have that bright smile on his face so, I thought that he's always happy and positive.

When I was five, my parents decided to split and live in different houses- Mom took me and raise me, away from our hometown, while Dad and my brother insisted to stay.

Every summer and holidays, my Dad and my brother will visit us in New York and enjoy the time while we still can but, unfortunately, Our parents does have their own issues and it keeps going until we get older and older- they just won't stop.

The tradition of summer and holiday visits continues but it's only my older brother who comes and travel all by himself to celebrate some important events with us.

As the time goes by, my brother and I grew as a different person from each other, if you know what I mean.

My brother became strong, confident and independent person while me... I actually fucked up- I was always shy, I don't have an "actual friend" and I always depends on the things that I know I can do rather than trying to do other things that could have better results and truth be told, I am so emotionally weak so, I always give up so easily and then let myself suffer for the consequences of my stupidity.

The difference between us had an impact into our family issues. My brother never gave up on our parents for he believes that there's still hope that we could have our own happy family back. He was so desperate. He asked for my help but, for me, It was all over and we can't mend other people's feelings if they don't even want to do it for themselves. It's just what I know and what I feel.

But, fortunately, my brother was always there to spread positivity whenever he's around. He talks too much but it all make sense. He give me advice about being positive and strong in life, that the struggle we face right now will always have it's end... and so it happens.

It all ends for him, just like that.

This summer, he tried to persuade Dad to come with him and have a moment with us, as a family and he succeeded on bringing him in New York.

In the first month, it was okay but really awkward. But before the second month ends, something happened. Our parents was yelling at each other, my Mom was crying and words keep coming from her while Dad explains something. My brother on the other hand, was standing there, in the kitchen. He watch our parents curse each other. I saw him, when I was sitting upstairs, hiding my figure like a scared child- what can I do? This things happens since I was five and whenever I see it, I feel myself was like a glass, a thin glass that could break anytime.

My eyes were focused to my brother. He was frozen, biting his lower lip- it's like he want to say something, no- it's like he want to scream. He just want it to stop and I saw how broken he is and struggling not shed a single tear from his eyes.

"Enough!" My brother's voice was loud but there's a pure sadness on it. Our parents move their gazes to kitchen, and in my vision, I saw their faces and it only says something as they stare at the boy in the kitchen, it's like they've realized something.

"Are you not even tired of this? This thing happens ever since we were kids and I just..." His voice was broken, and suddenly, he burst into tears, clenching his fists. "... I just wanted this to stop! Jackson and I only wanted a family..." And from those words, I can't help myself but to burst into tears in silence. "... I never wanted this to happen. I'm just trying to fix what's broken so... So that, we feel what's like to have a happy family."