Chapter 1

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I : HURT"It is very unfair because I cannot shout at people who hurt me

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I : HURT
"It is very unfair because I cannot shout at people who hurt me. I cannot express my feelings."

Chapter 1

I feel so useless. The truth want to slap me three hundred sixty degrees just to remind me that everything is real. I cannot stand the fact that i cannot even express what I feel and what I want to say. Things are very difficult. I always use my notebook to communicate with someone. I rarely use hand gestures because no one can understand what I want to say.

  It was twelve noon when I decided to grab some lunch with my bestfriend. He is the only one who can understand me. He can understand my hand gestures. I gestured him to buy me a burger. I sat on a vacant seat while he is standing in a long lane, waiting for his turn.

  My eyes were suddenly pierced at the canteen's door. There's a guy who seems lost. He roamed around his eyes as he stepped inside the room. He caught me looking at him. He smiled and walked towards me.

"Hello, may I ask where can I find this room? I'm kinda lost." he showed me a paper which has the name of the room.

He smiled sweetly, waiting for my answer, while I smiled sadly. If only I could speak.

-

I sat straightly when our Math teacher came inside the room with a guy who turns to be the one who I just saw 30 minutes ago. Everyone shutted their mouth as soon as they stood up in front.

"Good afternoon everyone." she greeted. We all stood up and greet her back. We sat as soon as she allowed us.

"Everyone please pay attention, please," she started. She taps the boy's shoulder whispering something. "You have a new classmate. His name is Na Jaemin." I looked at him, checking every features of him. He looks innocent as he smiled sweetly.

The teacher said some facts about him. Telling that he's seventeen years old and that he is an exchange student. After the short introduction, he sat on his assigned seat. He is three chairs away from me.

After the class, we went to the gym. We have a PE class every Monday afternoon. My hand sweats badly as I saw my classmates being excited to play. I hate volleyball. I'm scared and I don't want to be the reason why my group got defeated. Seeing the ball throws in the air makes me freeze in my seat.

"Lia." i opened my eyes and saw Winwin looking at me. He sat beside me. Winwin is my bestfriend since I transferred here in this school. He pointed the ball that is already on the floor. I sighed in relief. I thought it will land on my face.

"I think you have to play volleyball. This is graded and you might fail," he said. He patted my back and smiled.

"It's okay, you won't die being hitted by a ball." Is he serious? What if I got hitted by a ball and had an internal bleeding, I can die from that, right?

Winwin and I went to the center for the short meeting. Our teacher said that we'll have a boys vs. girls game. I am worried because boys are strong. I hope that everything will be alright. I'll do this for the sake of mg grades. I don't want to have a line of 8 just because I'm not participating during PE class.

"Be ready when I serve because i'll make sure that you're the one who's going to catch it," he chuckled. I hit his arm but he didn't budge. He likes teasing me.

Why is it cold inside the court? Why do i sweat when I'm just watching. I feel sick. I hope that i'll faint soon.

I am standing behind the girl in front of me. I looked how Winwin dribbled the ball. He looked at me and smirked. Bitch, don't tell me you're really going to do it. Okay what the heck the ball is coming for me, okay no shit what to do. Why am I cursing? I am an innocent person, i don't really curse but I only curse in my mind whenever I am nervous.

"Lia, why did you catch it? You have to hit it. This is not a basketball," the girl in front of me said. I nodded. All the boys are laughing, especially my dumbest bestfriend right there who seems having fun while the girls are just worried.

"Lia, why don't you join a basketball team, you have a potential anyways," Winwin teased. All of them just laughed except for my group, my coach and the exchange student. Great! He is going to pay for this.

My groupmates helped me. They hit the ball that is supposed to be mine and I am very thankful because they are kind. Without them, I'm going to have a perfect zero grade and a line of 7 in my class card.

I watched how the exchange student served. I think he's good. All of them are good. I am the only one who cannot play volleyball in this court. Luckily, the ball didn't went in my place everytime he serves. I think I'm going to have a heart attack everytime the other does. I am pretty sure that they mean to throw it where I'm standing so my team will going to lose.

The boys laughed nonstop everytime I served. What can I do? I don't know how to play it.

After the game, I immediately went to the comfort room to change. The girls in the room stopped talking when they saw me. I smiled at their reflection in the mirror and they smiled back. I want to say sorry to them for making our team lose but I'm not bringing any paper right now, they'll not understand my gestures. Only Winwin can.

After I changed my shirt, i straightly went to our classroom to get my bag and leave.

"Nice game, Lia!" Haechan said. Look at him. I know he's being sarcastic. Beside him is Mark who is just chuckling. Look at these two. They are meant to be partners in crime.

"I heard you want to join our basketball team." Mark said. I left the classroom without saying something. Lol dude I actually cannot say something because I am mute.

I straightly went outside the building when he suddenly popped right next to me. He's walking beside me. I didn't looked at him.

"Lia," he sang. He's teasing me again. I didn't say a word to him. He deserves a silent treatment for one week. I am ashamed.

"Hey!" I fastened my pace and walked quickly but he ran so he can be beside me again.

"Are you mad?" he asked. What do you think so, Winwin? All of the boys laughed at me. I know the girls were disappointed. I think some of them are mad because I was the reason why we lost the game. I badly want to say these things to him. If only I could talk.

It is very unfair because I cannot shout at people who hurt me. I cannot express my feelings.

"Look, i'm sorry." he said. Still, i didn't talked to him.

To be continued..

To be continued

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