Plus One

chapter 7: Rumpy Pumpy

Finn slid the key-card into the slot and opened the hotel room door. Puck pushed past him and threw himself onto the couch. Finn removed his jacket and sank onto the bed.

“Why does nobody act surprised when they find out I’m gay?” he asked. “Do I come across as gay.”

“I don't know, dude,” Puck sighed. He pushed himself up and wandered over to the mini-bar. “I don't care how expensive this shit is, I need a drink.”

“Can I have one?” Finn asked. 

Puck handed him a can and took one for himself. He took his seat again and popped the beer. 

“Seriously though,” Finn asked after they'd been sitting in contemplative silence for a few minutes. “Why does everybody think I’m gay?”

“I think it's actually a compliment, in a weird sort of way,” Puck said. He took a sip of his drink. “You're a sensitive guy, you're good looking, you're well dressed and well groomed. You were very quiet in high school, you never had a girlfriend. You didn't spend the whole time trying to get into girl's pants like the rest of us. Plus, you spend an awful lot of time at the gym.

“What I’d like to know is how the hell Quinn Fabray believes that I’m gay! We were hooking up for a year and she spent ninety-percent of that time on her back. She has more proof than anybody that I’m completely straight.”

Finn shrugged. “I guess it's like you said. If you tell people you're gay and you're holding hands with a guy, then they're going to believe you. Why would we lie about something like that?”

“This sucks,” Puck groaned. 

“I'm going to kill Kurt,” Finn said. He grabbed his phone and dialed his brother's number.

“Hey, girlfriend,” Kurt said when he answered the phone.

“Thanks a lot, kurt,” Finn growled. “Quinn Fabray is not in Mexico, she's Brody's best man. Rachel is going to be here tomorrow.”

“Hey, I was just passing on what Mom said,” kurt reminded him. “Are you accusing our mother of being a liar?” 

If Finn had been able to reach down the phone and strangle kurt, he would have done it cheerfully. “You could have given us a heads up. Rachel Berry is going to think I’m gay... That we're gay. It's going to be all over Lima.”

“So what? A girl that you haven't seen in years and never spoke to when you did see her every day is going to think that you're gay,” kurt said. “If you'd have the stones to talk to her in high school, then maybe this wouldn't be an issue.” 

“Ugh,” Finn disconnected the call and switched his phone off. He threw himself on the bed again. “This is a nightmare.”

“Maybe we could tell them,” Puck said hopefully. “We could just pull them to the side and explain what's going on and ask them to play along.”

Finn considered it and was tempted, but then he thought of Travis Payne. He shook his head. “No, I can't. This article is important to me, I have to have an authentic experience.” He sighed and rubbed his face. “I'm sorry, Puck. I know it sucks. But let's try and make the best of it. You were having fun until Quinn showed up.”

Puck clearly wanted to argue, but eventually he nodded in agreement.

“Want to have gay sex?” Finn asked with a grin. He patted the bed beside him.

Puck returned his grin and stood up. “Sure, bend over.”

Finn laughed. 

Puck sat down on the bed, careful to maintain as much distance as he could from Finn. “So... how do we do this?”