chapter 11: The Proof's in the Porking

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Finn and Puck waited nervously at their table, their eyes glued to the girls dancing on the floor.

“Do you notice how nobody cares that they're dancing with each other but when we did it, we got loads of dirty looks?” Puck pointed out. If he didn't hate dancing so much, he would have pulled Finn back onto the floor so they could rub some noses in it.

“Yeah, it's going into the article,” Finn agreed. He squinted at the crowd as Rachel and Quinn disappeared from sight. 

“So, how do we do this?” Puck asked.

“Um, I’m just going to ask Rachel to take a walk with me and then tell her.”

“Wait, we're not doing this together?” Puck asked, feeling a little panicked. He didn't think Quinn would believe him if Finn wasn't there to confirm his story.

Finn shook his head. “No way.” He'd been thinking as he watched Rachel dancing. Now was the perfect time to let her know how he felt. He could tell her about the article and all about how he came to be pretending he was gay, apologize for lying and then segue-way into letting her know about his feelings. It was perfect. And he really didn't want Puck around Quinn around for that.

They perked up as Quinn approached, but noticed that Rachel wasn't with her. Instead she was chatting happily to a young man about their age. Finn felt his hands clench. “We're telling them right away,” he said in a low voice. No way was he standing by and watching some other guy move in on his Woman.

Quinn smiled when she spotted them. “Guys, this is my friend Gregar. He wanted to meet you. Gregar, this is Finn and Puck, who I was telling you about.” She gave them a little wave and disappeared again. 

“Wait,” Puck called after her, but she was already gone.

“You two are so gorge,” Gregar said in the campest tone Finn had ever heard anybody speak. “Which one of you is Puck?”

Puck raised his hand uncertainly.

He was shocked when Gregar suddenly slapped him, them tutted and wagged his finger in his face. “Bad boy. Don't play in the pussy playground unless you mean it. The girls aren't like us.”

Puck was too shocked to react. 

“So, um, Gregory,” Finn said.

“It's Gregar, as in gregarious,” Gregar said. He rolled his eyes. “My daddy had no imagination. He called my Greg but I changed it when I left Hicksville and moved to Boston. Gregar symbolizes the caterpillar leaving the cocoon and emerging a fabulous, fierce butterfly.” He snapped his fingers for emphasis.

“Right, Gregar... uh... you wanted to meet us?” Finn prompted.

“Well, I wanted to meet the boy who broke Quinn's heart, plus she said you two were gorgeous. And she's right, you two are extra dreamy delicious.” He grabbed a chair and moved it right beside Puck then sat down so he was practically on Puck's lap. “Especially you. You are simply yummy.”

Puck coughed uncomfortably and tried to move his chair away. Gregar shimmied closer. “I could just lick you all up. You know, Quinn told me that you have a very talented tongue. So do I.” Then he stuck out his tongue and waggled it provocatively in Puck's face.

“Uh...” Puck stared at the man in horror with no idea how to react. He looked to Finn for help. “Um... dude, my boyfriend is right here. Do you mind?”

“Yeah, back off,” Finn said, coming to his friend's rescue.

Gregar pouted. “You two don't like to share? That's very disappointing! I’m going to report you to the Queen for not sharing.”

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