A Life Beyond (Hard Time Series Book 2)

Mama Talks

STEF POV

"I swear she is just around to cause fucking trouble Mama Rose. Out of all the Walmarts." I said as I had gone to the older woman's church to chat a bit and stuff donation envelopes.  If it was one person who got me to see clear, besides my wife, it was her even on my worst days and when Lena and I argued. 

"Of course we know that is true and I hate to say it but Lena and Callie will have to try to ignore her. She wants trouble and it's damm near sad. It's sad what happened with her."

"I don't get it. She was a person I always trusted I mean from the time we were born. The shit we did together, the shit we did for each other. The amount of times we cried and the shit we saw. The bond we had, it was real and I don't get how it just is gone. I don't get it and I couldn't leave her in charge Mama Rose. I couldn't. She knew that. And it wasn't that I didn't want to. Of course I did but she doesn't know how to run shit. She never did."

"I know that baby. I know that but you know it's more than just that with her. She lost her daughter, you got out, she lost her way and she didn't know what to do. Sometimes people act like a fool to protect themselves from feeling pain and I guess, well, you leaving caused pain. No she didn't handle it right and she certainly is not handling it right and I don't expect you to forgive her. I don't and I will respect that choice if you choose not to. She was saying some very dangerous things."

"Well what makes it any different than what I use to tell you?" I said feeling that pang of guilt take over my heart once again. 

"Stefanie. This is not that. You have to stop that baby. You have to we are past that.  At least I thought." She said as I looked right into her eyes. "Stefanie?"

"Mama Rose I still still think I should tell your kids."

"Honey we talked about this. THere is no need or reason too."

"But I need to. I mean you are forever talking about redemption and confessions. I feel like I'm sitting on some big ass secret. They have all been so kind to us  and they think I treated you right."

"You did."

"What? On what planet?" I asked laughing.

"Honey, listen, jail is a jungle and we all did what we needed to do. People on the outside will not understand the dynamics. They won't and that includes your brother, my children and Lena's parents. It does. I don't count those years prior to this one with us and you need to understand that once and for all. What matters is right now. The relationship the two of us have now baby, not what we had before. We have grown and come miles. There is no reason to relieve a time that no longer matters to either of us. This is the real world now and we are something different. Something better right?" She said gently rubbing my cheek as I let out a soft smile. "Right?"

"Yes."

"Good.  Now I think we have a new choir member." She said smiling and looking behind me as I turned around to see Frankie dancing and singing with the chorus.  All I could do was smile wide myself as there was not one bit of shyness in this little girl right now.  Over the course of time since I had gotten out Frankie had really changed. Not in a bad way but she had opened up quit a bit.

"I don't, well talk to her about  this. Church and god and shit. I don't really well believe and...

"You don't need to it's just music honey." She said holding my hand as I grabbed it back rubbing her fingers.  "It's just music. Mike giving you a bit of an easier time in regards to her visiting you?"

"Somewhat. He's still an asshole along with his wife. They invited us to some party and I don't get why. I mean like I'd really wanna go over their fucking house. For what?"

"MM did they? Well you can think about it. Maybe he is trying to make an effort in his own way."

"I don't know Mama Rose. I think they are both full of shit and I still think they are trying to adopt my kids. Mike has been a little too nice lately and I still don't trust him. Unfortunately."

"I hope not honey. Have you confronted him again?"

"Many times."

"In what way? In a calm way?"

"Of course. I'm always calm." I said as she looked at me. 

"Well I beg to differ. You still have some well alot of lion in you. Which might stay with you  but have you tried to ever talk to Mike in a calm way.  In a non threatening way I mean."

"He pissess me off and I see no reason to talk to him in a calm way. He tried and is still trying to steal my kids Mama Rose." I said as she grabbed my hands looking at me in the eyes. 

"Listen, I am on your side. Always and forever. That you need to understand and I am not going to turn on you. And yes it was wrong what he tried to do and is wrong if he is still trying it. Very.  However have you asked him why? Why he is doing that."

"He doesn't think I'm a good mother. He thinks I'm a bad influence and that I wasn't going to ever get out.  Meanwhile when I got locked up he told me he would never take them from me. Ever. And that was a load of shit. A ton."

"I'm sorry baby. Lord knows I am.  Listen, what if I came with you to talk to him. Talk to him about you and your kids and you are working to get your rights back. Maybe having someone else there would help a bit. I do not mind honey."

"I don't know. I dont know how much a difference it's really gonna make. Besides I'd feel better ringing his neck along with Miss Judy. It feels more productive." I joked as she smiled at me shaking her head.

"Well you think about that offer, and maybe go to that party for your son and daughter. I'm sure they would love to see you their honey. You mean so much to both of them. You really do and I think the holidays will be even more special for them this year."

"Frankie sure. Jude. I could fall off a cliff and he wouldn't give a shit." I laughed but not really meaning it.  "That kid won't budge with me no matter what the fuck I do. Just getting him to come here with me and Frankie was a fight. It's always a fucking fight with him and he respected me more when I was fucking locked up. Now it's like I don't know he has not one bit of respect for me. Nothing and he tests my patience every single time he is with me. Every single time and every single time I have to remind him who the fuck I am. And he is so fucking rude to Lena I almost put him through the wall."

"Have you taken him out alone? I mean without Frankie?" She asked in a rather concerned tone.

"No. It's hard because she doesn't want to leave my side. Ever and I keep meaning to do something alone with him but again it's a fucking fight."

"Well, what if I watch her and she can sing with the choir and you take him out.  She seems to really enjoy it and it can distract her."

"No you have done enough."

"Stef why are you so stubborn about me helping. You and your wife you know. Go on I will watch her and you take him out. See how that goes baby. I'm sure deep down he misses you."

"Yeah I miss him too. My sweet boy." I said looking in his direction as he sat in pew with his headphones on tuning out the world.

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We will see who Callie bumped into and I wonder how Stef's outing alone with Jude will go. Yikes.