The Boy I Admire From Afar

chapter 11

I looked up and saw Jide looking at me expectantly

"You wonder why I have no friends right,there is a saying that once biting, twice shy

"I,Rosemary and Bunmi where friends since we started primary school since then we became friends and then best friends or so I thought

" well it started when we all started senior secondary school there was this new guy he was so handsome but he came by later and introduced himself as Samuel, my friends were happy to met him and instantly we became friends then after a while he asked me on a date I told my friends and they encouraged me to say yes even though I didn't want to but I believed them ,they were my best friends", I paused and took a deep breath while my eyes was begging for release but I promise not to cry again
"After a few date he asked me to be his girlfriend and with my friends support I said yes so we started dating, a few weeks later he invited me to a club I was scared at first but my friends convinced me I need to live and be a teenager and to stop burying my nose in books so I followed their advice and I started following him to club almost every night to the extent i started losing my grades and my mind, I will sleep in class and skip school,my parent were going through divorce at that time so I couldn't get advice from anybody apart from my friend's

"What about your brother,Jide asked

" he was sick at that moment.

" after some months Samuel tried to kiss me and always brought up the idea of sex but I always refused him but one night he got drunk so drunk he tried his sex advance on me but I refused him and that got him so angry he actually hit me,he hit me so hard I lost conciseness" ,my voice cracked and I knew I was about to cry but I promised my self I won't cry because of him.

I took a deep breathe and continue I had to get this off my chest ,after all this years I can finally be able to share this with someone even though am not sure of his reaction

"The next morning I woke up in his mum room,his mum took care of me and she begged me not to tell anybody ,she explained that Samuel had a minor mental disorder so I felt pity for her since she was a single mother with a mental disorder teenage boy so I forgave him and kept it my secret .The following Monday Samuel was not in school and my friend kept asking me were he was so I had not choices but to open up to them expecting them to comfort me but do you know what they did ,I asked Jide and he shook his head no

" they spread rumors about me in school saying am a slut that I got pregnant for Samuel but he didn't want the baby so I abort the baby and those fools believed them even the teachers did ,I said breaking down completely while I felt Jide's arms around me
"I trust-ed the-m bu-t but they broke my heart,they we-re my best friends

" shhh it okay ,it not your fault it those bitch who are the bad friends not you ,Jide said trying to calm me down

"Why didn't you tell anybody" this time I heard a new voice my brother's voice,I remained quite as I faced down too ashamed to look up

"How long have you been standing there,I asked very low making it sound more like a whisper
"Long enough to hear everything, he said
" why didn't you tell anybody",he asked again this time more seriously but I kept mute
"GIVE ME SOME FUCKING ANSWER AND DON'T KEEP QUITE !!

Instead of talking I just kept crying all over again,Daniel was really angry he never swear until he is annoyed beyond control

" hey don't shout at her,you see she is still emotional, Jide said

"Shut the fuck up am not talking to you am talking to my sister and your help is no longer needed you can leave,my brother said

"Well am not leaving until Ife ask me too,Jide said

" Ife I won't ask you again how come a guy beat you and you didn't tell anybody, are you crazy or were you out of your mind ,You could have died or raped and you didn't tell anybody

I only cried more

"Stop crying and fucking talk to me !! He shouted

"Don't shout on me you are not the best  yourself,I said

" what do you mean

"Remember that time you smoke weeds and went to fight at that underground house you and your friends ,I asked raising my voice

" Do you know how our parent felt when they got a call from the police that you were in the hospital only for them to get there and find you with different tubes attached to your body ,no you won't known because you were fucking in a coma for three month because according to the doctor you were stabbed three times in three different places and you hit your head hard on the floor and you fractured your skull", I was already crying and shouting
"Do you know how much it hurts when mum silent sob woke me up, do you how it felt when I wake up and see bags under my parent's eyes they balmed themselves for your accident,they were going to sign their divorce paper the day you woke up, no you won't remember because you had anemia when you hit your head on the floor, so don't fucking judge me for deciding to keep our family together by cleaning the mess I created,I said

" did I do all of that ,Daniel asked

"Yes you did and you almost ruined our life because of your stupid carelessness and stupid attitude

" but I didn't mean it ,he said his voice cracking

"You may not remember why you decided to start smoking and drinking but am sure you know what you were doing the moment you decided to get high and go to that underground fight since you know its a fight to death

I started crying again until I heard Jide's voice I forgot he was here

"Hey,calm down it okay, Daniel already regrets his action

I looked up at Daniel and l saw many emotions in his eyes,regrets,confusion and most of all pain
I moved closer to him on the bed and I hugged him,then he did the most
Unexpected he started crying

" am so sorry Ife ,I didn't mean any of it ,am so sorry"he said crying

"I know you didn't mean it and am not angry okay ,am sorry for lashing out on you" I said my voice cracking in the end

"Shit I have to apologise to our parent, they almost got a divorce because of me "

"You will apologise once they get back

" thanks for forgiving me Ife "

"It okay you are a changed person now and mum and dad are proud of you ,you got into the most prestigious university in Lagos so am sure you have been forgiven long time ago

" Ife ,I heard Jide's voice

"Yes

" I have to go ,my mum is worried sick

"Okay thanks for today ,I said

" don't worry your secret is safe with me ,Jide said smiling

"Okay thanks, I said smiling  as i felt a heavy wright been lift from my shoulder for the first time in two years

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