wake up // lil xan

fuck my teachers.

The next two weeks were absolute hell. I had to dodge my uncle, hide my xans, and deal with Trace. All of this was exhausting because it felt like I was never going to get a break, and I was thoroughly convinced until I caught one. My mom had to leave for work early one morning and I didn't even bother getting ready for school. Instead I just texted Gus, and asked him to chill. Of course he said yes because he doesn't have much else to do. I lazed on my bed when I heard a soft knock on my bedroom door, and it revealed my favorite pink haired boy. He smiled lazily at me and I sat up on the bed.

"Wassup, wassup," he greeted.

"Nothin' I just said fuck it to school today," I shrugged.

Gus snorted, "Like you do everyday now?"

I shoved him, "Whatever, man. Fuck off."

He threw himself on my bed and pulled out a joint. Gus had come over a lot the past two weeks and it had become a normal routine for us to smoke in my room. The smell always cleared out before mom came home and she adored him, anyway. The covers were strewn around us as I played on my phone, Gus' licking heard in the background. It was such a peaceful day, and I was reveling in it.

I heard the snick of the lighter, an inhale, then smoke was in my face, "Those rot your brain."

"Whatever, so do xans," I snorted.

"I'd rather die doing xans than being on my phone too much," he declared.

Brushing it off, I snatched the joint from his fingers, "To each his own, I guess."

We laid in bed most of the day, just teasing each other while watching anime. Gus and I had become pretty close friends over the past few weeks, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. He would come over almost everyday, smoke me out, and just laze around with me. It was nice having someone who didn't know absolutely everything about my past, like Chelsea and Kimetrius. Of course I love them and wouldn't trade them for the world, but Gus was a breath of fresh air. He was just living life how he wanted and so far that meant music. His songs were full of raw emotion and talent, which is why I loved being in the studio with him. I never got behind the mic even after the countless times he'd offered. It always ended the same; I would laugh him off and shake my head. Gus never pushed me to do anything I didn't want to and I could never show my appreciation for that enough. He was like a ray of sunshine in my life, and I loved him.

His brown eyes focused on me, his voice thick, "Di? You good?"

I snapped back into reality, "Uh, yeah."

"What were you thinkin' 'bout? Seemed pretty real," he asked.

"Our friendship," I explained.

Gus raised an eyebrow at me, "Really?"

"Really," I confirmed.

"That's nice," he smiled.

"Hell yeah, man," I smiled.

The rest of the day was peaceful and I felt even better after popping a couple xans with Gus. We finally decided to leave my house and walk around a bit in the woods just to give us something to do. Laying around was nice, but I couldn't do that shit all day. While we were on our way to the woods I looked at the streaks of sunlight burning itself onto the pavement. The air was light and it felt like it was almost asking us to go into the woods and sit by the stream.

My thoughts were interrupted by Gus' voice, "So, when are you dropping out?"

I felt as if my world had gone still and my heart stopped for just a moment. No one had ever asked me this question, and I never even considered it an option. Now, I knew it was, but no one ever made it sound like it was okay. Thoughts started circling around in my brain, and it seemed like a good route to take. My face must have shown the pure shock because Gus spoke up again, "Dude, you don't have to. I was just asking because you haven't been to school in a hot ass minute."