Searching for Answers

Chapter 6 - Another shock

I woke up to find myself on the floor, in Chris's arms. I remembered the things I had been told last night and tried not to think about it. I looked up, seeing Ricky sitting on the edge of his bunk. He looked at me with sorry eyes. I sat up, realizing my head was pounding. I looked down at Chris who was still sleeping then back at Ricky.

Me : Ricky.. Did you know?

Ricky : Yeah, Chris told us yesterday while you were setting up the merch table. I'm so sorry Lex, are you okay?

I nodded, because it hurt my head to speak. Ricky must of sensed it because he offered me some asprin. I gladly took the two pills. He helped me to my feet and walked out to the living area and got me a glass of water. He came back with it. He handed it to me and I swallowed the pills, wanting the pounding in me head to stop.

Ricky : We all know. All the guys are up front. They want you to come talk to us.

I dreaded what they would say, but I nodded and followed Ricky to the front of the trailer. When we all got to the front I sat on the counter so I could see all their faces and Ricky took a seat next to Devin. Everyone was quiet, as if they were thinking of what to say, then Ryan broke the silence.

Ryan : Look Lex, we were all just as shocked as you are and we all simply can not say we understand because none of us experienced anything like that. But what we do want you to know is that we're all here for you. If you need to talk we're all here and will listen.

Balz : Exactly. You're like a part of our family so we'll treat you like family. If you want to drop it, say the word and we will not speak of it.

All the guys nodded and I stayed quiet. To be honest, I did want to drop it, but I didn't want to drop what happened between me and Chris, but only he and I could talk about that situation.

Me : I do want to drop it. If I keep dwelling on it I'll get depressed again and shut down. I miss Sara, believe me I do, but thinking about her hurts too much.

As soon as I said that Balz looked hurt, but I wasn't sure why. Just as I said that, Chris came threw the door separating the living area and bunks and looked right at me. Without a word, all the guys filed out of the trailer. Chris came over and hugged me tight, and I hugged him back. We stayed like that for a few minutes, until I spoke.

Me : Chris...

Chris : Yes?

Me : I told the guys I want to drop it.. But I don't want to drop what happened between me and you..

Chris : What if we build good memories? Do you think it will help?

I nodded, then hugged him again. Just as Chris let go of me, Balz ran it looking frantic.

Balz : Lex did you know Sara was pregnant with my baby when she died?!

My head felt fuzzy, I couldn't breathe. My eyes began getting heavy, until they closed as I felt myself falling forwards.