Searching for Answers

Chapter 7 - Unknown Circumstances

I fainted when Balz revealed something I had never known. Chris held me so I wouldn't fall, until I came to. When I opened my eyes Balz was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. Chris was still holding me, incase I decided to faint again.

Me : Balz?... I whispered

Balz : Lex... She really didn't tell you?

I shook my head. My heart dropped into my stomach, half because I didn't know, half because now I found out not just my best friend died, but a baby as well.

~ FLASHBACK : Balz POV ~

I was laying in bed waiting for Sara to call me. We were gonna hang out today and I was excited. Even though we were only friends with benefits, I liked her. Finally my phone rang, and it was Sara. A smile spread across my face when I answered.

Balz : Hello?

Sara : Balz, I need to come over, NOW.

Balz : Okay, is something wrong?!

Sara : I don't know.. yes. I'll explain when I get there.

Before I even said anything else she hung up. I got out of bed and took a quick shower and got dressed and waited on the front porch for her to arrive. After about 10 minutes she pulled into my driveway. Her car turned off and she got out, coming towards me with an expression of hate on her face. It's safe to say I was confused as fuck.

She walked up the stairs and stood infront of me and started digging around in her purse until she pulled out something and threw it into my lap. I looked down, and it was a pregnancy test. I didn't have to look at it to know what the results showed. We didn't use protection so it was our own faults, but I was only 18, I wasn't ready to be a father. I looked up at her with sorry eyes

Balz : Sara I...

Sara : Save it, I want to keep it.

Balz : Sara I respect your decision but I really don't think were ready... I want to get my music career going and were so young and..

She cut me off.

Sara : So what Josh! You want me to get a fucking abortion!?

Balz : No Sara that's not what I'm saying! Theres other choices like adoption but I can't be a father yet when I'm just getting into a band and..

She cut me off again by slapping me, hard.

Sara : Fuck you Josh. I'll fucking kill the baby myself!

She ran to her car and I chased behind her. She was in my reach but quickly got in her car and slammed the doors and drove away faster than a fucking nascar driver.

I didn't know what she was going to do... No one knew about us and I didn't even know her friends. The only mutual friend between me and her was Chris...

~ End of flashback : Lexxi's POV ~

Josh explained to me how he found out. I was shocked more than anything, because I had no idea Sara was hooking up with anyone at the time.

Me : So she didn't talk to you after that?

Balz : No, I tried to call her, she wouldn't answer me, I called Chris and he hadn't heard from her but I didn't tell him she was pregnant at the time because I was still in shock and even Chris didn't know we were hooking up. I drove around and looked for her but she wasn't home and I didn't know where else she would of went.

I felt tears welding up in my eyes. I knew more about that night than Josh did.

Me : Balz... She was drinking heavily at the party.... And talking to some guy... I only saw her once that night until I found her on the ground.

Balz just nodded.

Balz : The drinking must of been her way to deal with it.. I didn't know she was dead until the next morning... Everyone in town was talking about it. Then I called Chris and told him everything... I was a wreck for 6 months because I lost her and a baby... I look back at it and I blame myself. I blame myself because maybe if I would of stepped up and said I wanted the baby she wouldn't be dead.

Tears escaped from is eyes and rolled down his cheeks. I motioned for Chris to let me get down then walked over to Balz and hugged him tightly, letting a tear run down my cheek.

Me : Balz you were young... Don't blame yourself. I blamed myself too because I didn't watch her..

Me and Balz hugged in silence for a while. When Balz let go I asked him if the guys knew, and he said he told them when they were outside.

I never knew so many secrets would come to surface all the sudden, especially with these guys... But I wanted to build good memories... Starting with Chris.