chapter 1: sweet like candy

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It's been a week since that encounter with yongsun, and because of that day we haven't been the same.

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My sexuality was never a secret. Ever since I debuted with the other three girls, our fans had a hunch that I was gay. Of course, they weren't wrong but I also have never tried to hide it. I was very comfortable with my members because they were the first ones to open their arms and accept me, making me feel content in my own skin. I was also grateful that my fans have supported me since the beginning. Now, I'm this lgbt+ icon that promote open sexuality in our conservative country.

We all know there are a few things that we gays should not do. First, don't fall for your best friend. Second, don't fall for straight people. And the important thing, don't fall your straight best friend. We are all aware of these rules but, how many of us fall for it anyways?

Now, my relationship with my groupmates are very close. We often show our skinship on and off camera, but some might notice I give a certain person a little more reciprocation and attention, our beloved leader – yongsun. I don't remember the exact date nor time when I felt that way towards her, but it happened. She, on the other hand, noticed and didn't stop me. Therefore, it led to that night.

It was on a night like most other ones. We had all practiced, laughed, teased each other, and ate at our favorite hole in the wall restaurant on the street. After parting ways with wheein and hyejin, me and yongsun decided to continue the night at her place.

Stumbling on the steps to her place after having a few drinks in our system, I waited for her to open the door before taking off my shoes. I sat down on the floor in the living room and waited for her to bring more wine for us to enjoy.

"This isn't like you, yongsun-sshi. You don't usually drink like this." I made a teasing remark as I watched her bringing the wine glasses. People who know her would tell you that she can barely drink a can of light beer by herself. After watching her struggle with the wine opener, I took it from her and unscrewed the cork.

"Is it a crime for me to drink moonbyul?"

I chuckled, pouring the glass full for her. "Of course not, leader-nim. Cheers." I cling my half-filled glass with hers before sipping on the sweet wine. I watched her, face already as red as a tomato as her eyes hazed. Yep, she's out of it. I thought to myself before breaking the silence. "Let's watch TV" I grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. Coincidentally, the channel was set on MBC and the show that was airing was – you guessed it – We Got Married.

My eyes glued on the screen as I watched the screen changed from the other couple to eric and yongsun. "Wow, look at you and eric. You guys look pretty hot." I complimented as I witnessed their duet to My Ear's Candy. Anyone with eyes could see that eric was dying watching yongsun drop it low on the floor.

"Holy fuck..." Words murmured out of my mouth as I watched. I mean, if I was eric in that situation I would also be grinding erotically towards her. My mouth grew dry as my jaw dropped. Once that ended, I looked over at my messy leader as she finished her second glass of wine. "Why don't you do that for our stages huh?" I chuckled, nudging against her side with my elbow.

"What do you mean? I do. It was just for show anyways."

"Not like that, dropping on the floor and grinding and... and stuff." I stuttered

"You mean like this?" Yongsun got on her fours before spreading her legs and pressing her pelvic against the floor then retracting back. My eyes feasted upon this scene, even if she was wearing her baggy sweat pants that covered her figure. "Okay, you are cut off from the wine, leader-nim." I attempted to take the wine away from her but she instantly tried to resist, causing us to have a tug of war with this wine bottle.

"I'm older than you, respect your elder." She said, a lame attempt to make me let go.

I was confident that my strength was greater compared to her, but drunk yongsun was definitely putting up a fight. We struggled against each other for that bottle before her mass collapsed on me, making both of us drop the wine. The bottle rolled on the ground and some of the purple liquor covered her wooden flooring. Blink, my eyes locked onto her as we laid horizontally on the floor. My hands hovered her lower back as she propped herself up from facing my chest.

"Look at the mess you made." I chuckled, trying to push her away but she wasn't budging. "What are you doing?" Words came out of my mouth as my smile disappeared from my lip. I watched her lean closer as my heart rate started to increase.

Pop. There goes my heart.

A heated mass pressed onto me, more specifically my lips. It was for a brief moment for our connected lips before yongsun pulled away. My body lit up instantly. I watched her as she showed no remorse. My dark brown orbs looked at her as my pupils dilate from that high, my hands grabbed onto her cheeks and pulled her down for another kiss. My mouth parted, nibbling on her lower lip. I can feel her arms wrapping around my waist. I wasn't completely sober, because if I was, I wouldn't be doing this.

The kiss went on as the sound of our lips slapping against each other echoed throughout the room. My tongue gained the courage to flick her upper lip, guiding it into my mouth before my teeth clenched down for a tender bite and she moaned as a response. Fuck. I never thought nor dreamed of hearing that sound, ever. Now that I have, I will never get it out of my brain. As much as I was enjoying this, it eventually ended with yongsun pulling away. She gazed at me with cloudy eyes before biting down her lower lip. She stood up as I pushed myself up with my elbow, only to be pulled up by the girl. She guided me into her room, a place that I am way too familiar with but not in this way.

Yongsun pinned me down on the bed as she straddled above me, her digits laced against mine before moving my hands above my head, locking them there to restrain my movement. She kissed me, and I returned the favor. Her hips started to grind against mine, my body responded automatically. Was this actually happening? Me and yongsun?

Our kiss was heated but it grew to be sloppy. Her mass was getting heavy above me, her movement became lazy. Soon enough, I was able to break her hold against my hands. "Yongsun?" I called out her name as she dozed off. How could she possibly fall asleep while we were doing this? None the less, it didn't fail to make me laugh. I pushed her off of me before tucking her into bed like the respectful person that I am.

As much as I wanted to stay in bed with her and wake up next to her, I didn't. I needed time to think, especially after all that has happened tonight. I made myself leave her side and closed her bedroom door. I cleaned up the mess on the floor before leaving her apartment. I wondered home as I replayed every moment at her place tonight and the only word that would sum up my feelings was "fuck", because that did happen.


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a/n: first wattpad ff. uploaded on aff but since the site is dying and i wanted a more mature/wide range of audience i'm here. give me feedback, pls. ty. 

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