Jikook Specials! [ Hunter and Prey ]

help.

this is really more of a serious and quite mature chapter; skip if you need to

He touched me.

At first I was confused. But later, I finally felt what he did to me was truly horrifying. It had sunk in and I had grown afraid of him.

I had hope... at first.

I beared with it because I needed to. I needed to or else he would take the person of which I loved.

I hoped it wouldn't last. I hoped I was able to go soon and he'd be done with his fun. I really hoped it would all stop before anything got too crazy. I didn't want to be alone with him. Living with him. Sleeping with him. I didn't want any of it.

But I had to.

I had to...

So...

...

..

.

He keeps touching me.

I don't like it. I don't want it. He makes me do it. He makes me. It's not my fault. It's not.

It's not. It's not my fault. It's not. It's not. It's not.

Everything is dark and cold in my heart and my head. I cry almost every night. I want help...

I'm so scared.

I feel so disgusted.

I feel so trapped.

I want to leave. I can. I can leave whenever I want. But I can't, because...

I can't stand it anymore! I can't do it!

Living with that monster is worse than anything in this world. He is a vampire but that's not the monster part of him I'm talking about.

Nothing matters. Nothing does anymore but one person. I can't bear this pain any longer. I don't know how long I've been here for. I don't feel pure. I don't feel happy. I don't feel... anything but despair. I've lost the meaning of pleasure.

He keeps making me do things I don't like. Maybe if I give in, it will help me bear with it better?

Help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me

Help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me 

Help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me 

Help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me 

Help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me 

Help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me 

Help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me !

I need someone to love. I need love. I need love that's not from him. He gives bad love. I don't want to call it love but he does. He calls it love. 

I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't. 

But what choice do I have?

It's my fault.

Everything that happened is because of me. It's all my fault.

My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault.

It's all my fault.

I shouldn't have done it. I know I shouldn't now... but I don't want to be here anymore! Years have gone now and I'm still waiting... my hope is failing me. But there's still a bit of fight in me.

Nobody came to save me. Nobody loves me. Nobody knows I'm gone. Nobody knows... nobody knows.

I'm tired of waiting. I can't escape this hell. I know that now. I deserve this. I deserve this trauma. I deserve to be touched. I deserve to feel disgusting. I deserve fake love. I deserve to feel like I want to kill myself every single moment of my life. 

I deserve it all.

I shouldn't die; I need to feel this pain for as long as I need to. I. Deserve. It. All.

I'm broken. I'm truly broken.He succeeded. His toy finally broke.

I wish to see her... I want to see her... she's my only reason I'm still alive...

The only reason I want to stay alive is her. To protect and care for her.

He turned me. I've never felt anythnig more dreadful than that moment. I'm not a monster like he is! That's what I thought. But now I see it. He made me a monster. He made me undeniably hideous. 

I'm finally out. I'm a monster like him. I'm a monster... But I'm out. We can be normal like always. That's what I told myself. We can be normal and live peacefully... I will work hard to pay for my actions. I returned to our house with some difficulty. 

A lot of buildings looked different throughout the past few years. But I finally managed to find the old house. I was so happy I could go home to someone who loved me and tell me everything was okay...

... But she was gone.

    ♦♦♦ 

guess if you want to, but im sure we all know who it is  

i wanted to give a brief insight on his past and what he went through

this is only his thoughts, as you can see 

i also wanted to make a chapter about how hoseok cared for him too <3