Of Choosing You

8 - Inexplicable

Chapter 8 - Inexplicable

Umakyat na ako sa unit namin to check on Keira. I wonder what's up with her recently. Hindi naman kasi masyadong nagkukwento 'yon tungkol sa mga nangyayari sa kanya. Kailangan mo pang tanungin talaga at pilitin kung minsan para lang may masabi siya sa'yo.

It's not that she's secretive. Hindi niya lang talaga ugali ang kusang magkwento. Maybe it's just really her pesonality. Pero minsan, bigla na lang siyang magtatanong para lang masimulan 'yung topic hanggang sa dadalhin ka na niya sa gusto niyang pag-usapan. She takes it step by step. She doesn't go straight to details. 'Yun 'yung mga rare moments kaya 'pag nagtanong na siya, I know enough to keep my mouth shut and let her lead the conversation.

Pumasok ako sa unit only to find her sitting at the stairs, both her hands on her face and her elbows resting on her knees. Hay. This is the first time I've seen her like this. She must have sensed me walk in or she might have heard the door close 'cause she suddenly looked up.

"Keira," tawag ko. Ibinaba ko sandali yung bag ko sa table at nilapitan siya. "Ano bang nangyayari sa'yo?"

Tinignan niya lang ako nang ilang segundo at tsaka sya tumayo para yakapin ako. Hindi pa man sya umiiyak pero ramdam ko na agad yung bigat ng pakiramdam nya. Ayoko na syang tanungin uli kaya hinintay ko na lang syang magsabi. Maya-maya ay humigpit sandali 'yung yakap nya tsaka sya bumitaw. 

"Sorry, it's mom," ika nya habang papunta sa sofa. "Sorry kung nag-alala ka."

"Keira, please tell me what's happening. Umuwi na ba si tita?"

Huminga muna sya nang malalim bago magsalita, "No, hindi pa s'ya umuuwi. Pero nag-insist s'yang magpunta ako sa kanya."

What? "Sa U.S.?"

She nods and says, "'Di ba college pa lang tayo, may plano na talaga s'yang kunin ako para d'on na ako tumira? Pero ever since naman, tumatanggi na ako."

Pero akala ko joke lang 'yon noon. Who am I kidding anyway. It's Keira. She turns serious things to jokes when she can especially if she knows it'll hurt somebody. It's a double-edged sword, that skill. You end up hurting yourself the most by dragging the whole truth on.

"And?"

She sighs. "Dati napapalagpas pa ni mama. Pero ngayong naka-graduate na ako, seryoso na siya. Kausap namin sya lagi sa phone ngayon at sobrang iniinsist niya 'yung pagpunta ko." 

She stops crying and reaches for the box of tissue next to her. She wipes her eyes and her nose as if she's done crying already. 

I manage to ask, "Is that what the Mustang is for? Sabi mo bribe. For this?" 

"Yep. Dun sya magaling, e. Bribes. Kaya niya kami napapasunod ni ate. Pero ayoko talaga this time, Ronn. I can't," she answers.

I continue, "Why though? Why bribe you this much just so you'd go there? If she really wants to see you, she can go here any time naman, right?" 

She gets more tissues from the box but she doesn't wipe her face with it. It's kind of an automatic gesture. Taking a really deep breath, she says as she looks at me, "She wants me to marry someone there."

"What?!" I blurt out. 

She nods. Well, that's fucked up. We all knew na kinukumbinsi na sya ni tita nung college pa lang kami na pumunta sya ng States. We also knew she wouldn't go. But to bribe her? And what?! To marry? Grabe naman 'yun.

My mouth hangs open as she explains, "Gusto niya kasi akong magkaron ng green card and yun lang yung nakikita nyang way."

"You can apply Employment-based naman, bakit ganon pa yung gusto ni tita?"