Untold Secrets

Chapter 12- Death isn't a Part of Life

I listened as Rick gave his speech at Dale's service. Daryl was a little far from the group and watched on. Tears fell down my face in sadness and frustration. I wiped them away, trying to stay strong. After the service Daryl, Andrea, T-Dog, Shane and I took a drive out to the far fence to let out some anger on stray walkers. I took one out with a shovel. I kicked, stomped, and hit it with the shovel until it was nothing but guts. That moment was bittersweet. I was insanely missing everyone who had died but I had also killed my first walker up close without a gun.

**1 Day Later**

Daryl and I were at our camp, packing things up because today we were moving into the house. When we were almost done, we took a break and sat down. I hadn't said much since Dale's death, I was still kind of in shock. I took a drink out of my water as Daryl said "You alright?" I looked at him shook my head no. I heard him sigh and I got up and said "I wish there was no such thing as death." as I angrily kicked a rock in front of me. "Dyin's a part of life." Daryl said. "No it's not, it's the end of it." I shot back. I quickly picked up my things and headed towards the house.

I was sharing a room with Beth. Hershel had Jimmy bring in another mattress for me for the floor. Beth and I were pretty close, and we talked a lot. I even consider her my closest friend besides Carl. Speaking of him, I need to check up on him soon. He's been acting really weird since Dale's death. He's really secretive and avoids everyone. I put my things in Beth's room and headed out, looking for Carl. I searched everywhere around the house and what was left of the camp and saw no sign of anyone, except for Shane building a lookout on the windmill. I went into the barn, figuring he would be up there, like he's done before.

"Carl?" I said softly, climbing up the ladder and into the hayloft. I saw Rick and Carl sitting in one of the windows that over looked the farm. They both turned around and looked at me and said "Sorry, I'll just come back later." I turned around but Rick stopped me. "That's alright. He's all yours." He patted my shoulder as he left. I sat down next to Carl and said "How are you doing?" It was silent for a few seconds and he said "It's all my fault." "What?" I asked, confused. "That Dale's dead." He simply stated. "That walker that attacked Dale was the same one that we saw in the woods. I was going to shoot it before--" "No! Carl it wasn't your fault. It could've been any walker." I told him. "That's what I would like to think." He said. "Don't think like that. I'm distraught too. Daryl told me to think that he's in a better place than this world." I said, trying to make him feel better. "I guess you're right." He sighed. "Don't be so hard on yourself, you didn't have any control over it anyways. You didn't know that walker was gonna get free. What's done is done." I stated.

It was silent between us for a few minutes until I said that we should go help back at the house. On our way to the porch, Daryl was discussing something with Rick. When he saw me, Daryl hopped off the railing and walked towards me. "Rick and I are plannin' to run him outta this place for good. Don't leave Lori or Carol's sight ya hear?" I nodded and headed inside where I helped unpack and nail boards over the windows with Beth and Jimmy. All of the sudden, T-Dog ran inside shouting "The boy's gone!" "What?" Rick asked urgently as we all ran towards the shed. Rick went inside the shed and we all started panicking. "He must've slipped 'em." He said, walking out of the barn. "Is that possible?" Carol asked. "That door was secure from the outside." Hershel added. Then we heard someone start to yell. "Rick! Rick!" It was Shane, coming out of the woods towards us. His face all busted up and bloody. "What happened?" Lori shouted. "He's armed! He's got my gun!" Shane yelled. I started getting scared. "Are you ok?" Carl yelled. "I'm fine. Little bastard just snuck up on me and clocked me in the face." Shane responded. "Alright Hershel, T-Dog, get everybody back in the house. Glenn, Daryl, come with us!" Rick ordered. "Just let him go! Wasn't that the plan? Just to let him go?" Carol urgently asked. "The plan was to cut him loose far away from here, not on our front step with a gun." Rick said to Carol. "Don't go out there! You don't know what could happen!" Carol shouted but Rick ignored her, knowing what had to be done. "Get everybody back in the house. Lock all the doors and stay put." Rick instructed. "C'mon." Lori said to Carl and I as we all ran towards the house.

******

We all anxiously and patiently waited in the living room until it was dark and then Andrea spoke up "I'm going after them." She stood up but Lori stopped her. "Don't. They could be anywhere and if Randall comes back we'll need you here." Right as she finished, Daryl and Glenn walked in from outside. "Rick and Shane ain't back?" Daryl asked. "No. We heard a shot, maybe they found Randall." Lori suggested. "We found him." Daryl told her. "Is he back in the shed?" Maggie asked. "He's a walker." Daryl said. "Did you find the walker that bit him?" Hershel asked calmly. "No, the weird thing is he wasn't bit." Glenn explained. "His neck was broke." Daryl added on. "So he fought back?" Patricia suggested. "The thing is, Shane and Randall's tracks are right on top of each other and Shane ain't no tracker so he didn't come up behind him, they were together." Daryl explained. Lori walked up to him and said "Would you please get back out there and find Rick and Shane?" "You got it." He assured her. Daryl started for the door and we followed him to see what was going on outside. I stayed near Daryl as we looked out from the porch. My eyes widened and I started freaking out at what we were met by. There were hundreds, maybe thousands of walkers heading towards the farm. "Patricia, kill the lights." Hershel whispered. "I'll get the guns." Andrea frantically said as she ran into the house. "Maybe they're just passing like the herd on the highway. Should we just go inside?" Glenn asked. "Not unless there's a tunnel downstairs I don't know about. A herd that size could rip the house down." Daryl said to Glenn.

"Carl's gone!" Lori urgently said, running onto the porch. "What?" Daryl asked. "He was upstairs. I can't find him anymore." She said quickly. "Maybe he's hiding." Glenn said. "He's supposed to be upstairs, I'm not leavin' without my boy!" She demanded. "We're not, we're gonna look again and we're gonna find him." Carol assured her as they ran back inside. Andrea was now back and handing everyone guns. "You can go if you want." Hershel told us as he loaded a gun. "You gonna take 'em all on?" Daryl asked him. "We have guns. We have cars." Hershel responded. "Kill as many as we can and we'll use the cars to lead the rest of them off the farm." Andrea planned. "I'll stay here." Hershel concluded. "Are you serious?" Daryl asked him like he was crazy. "This is my farm. I'll die here." Hershel said seriously. "Alright, it's as good a night as any." Daryl said and started hopping over the railing but I stopped him and grabbed his arm. "No." I said scared. "You'll be fine, you have your gun and don't be afraid to shoot. Stay with Lori and Carol." He told me before patting my arm and leaving towards his bike.

I went inside with Beth and Patricia. After a couple minutes, Beth looked out the window and said "The barn's on fire." I looked out through the boards and saw the barn up in flames. "They're headed for it. Maybe Rick set it to draw them in." Patricia said. Then Lori and Carol came running down the stairs. "I can't find him anywhere!" Lori said, scared. "So maybe be snuck outside?" Patricia asked. "What do I do?" Lori shouted. "He was here! He must've run off maybe looking for Rick or went after Randall himself." Carol told Lori. "Maybe he set the fire?" Patricia added.

Carol and Lori ran out to the porch. I stayed inside. My heart was beating fast and I felt lightheaded and started crying in fear. I wanted to make sure Daryl was safe. My thoughts were interrupted by hearing Lori outside on the porch saying "Okay, if he followed his daddy, he went that way! and pointing towards the woods. "No! You'll lead them right to him! We can't stay here!" Carol said, trying to convince Lori. "That's my boy!" Lori shouted. "You're gonna have to trust. If we find him he's gonna need his mother, we've gotta go!" Carol shouted at her. "Carl!" Lori kept shouting. "Beth, Patricia, Casey, c'mon! We gotta go now!" Carol shouted at us. "Lori!" I shouted but she didn't hear me over her own voice shouting "Hershel!" who was still shooting at walkers. She finally stopped shouting and trying and we left, running off the side of the porch. "Stay behind me." Lori said as we headed towards the cars. I was in front of Beth and Patricia as they followed. We were halfway there when I heard Beth cry "No!" I look back to seeing Patricia get eaten by at least 5 walkers. I wanted to scream and cry but I had to be strong for Beth. I tried to pry her away since their hands were still connected and Beth finally let go as we clung onto each other as Andrea got out of the car with T-Dog and let us in. Lori told Andrea to go after Carol and that's what she did before T-Dog drove off the farm.