cursed by a golden heart

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— cursed by a golden heart

i don't know what is worse
a slow decline of grief
or a sudden drop
from the top of life

to be cursed
with the belief
that your heart will never stop
and you won't cling to life.

to be cursed
with the idea that you
will always be there
even if you are six feet under.

and once the dust
covers everything you grew,
the sun will glare
and burn like your child's wonder.

how dare we stand
among those who pretend
to grieve for the loss
that you suffered.

everything that we planned
late on the weekend
sealed with a kiss
and lovers comfort.

i don't know what's worse
knowing i've lost you from the start
or suddenly realizing
that you are dead in my arms.

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