— fake laughs
i've become so
sick in the head.
i've become
unable to mend
these broken thoughts.
too sick to realize
that these chemicals
are messing with my mind,
got everything spinning
further out of my control.
these demons
sitting on my shoulders
murdered the angel.
blood still on my shoulder and
the scars marking my memory.
i've been left behind,
left back in the dust,
and no ones bothered
to look back and make sure
that i'm keeping up with your smiles.
these fake laughs
got me tripping,
standing with all my friends
yet i feel so damn alone.
ain't nothing i can do.
these fake laughs
got me thinking
that maybe i'm not
the girl that everyone loves,
just a person to lean on.
maybe i've grown jealous
knowing how replaceable i am.
can't seem to do anything right,
i'm not any good,
so what's my purpose?
caught up with these old memories,
slowly coming back to surface
and haunt my cheeks
with fresh tears
and new pain in my chest.
heart hasn't stopped hurting
ever since you turned your back.
turned yourself away
and now i stand here
even more alone.
ain't got anyone to hold me
ain't got anyone to support me
so what do i do?
these fake laughs
catching up to my reality.
everything i've built
had to do it all myself,
and now every pillar
is starting to collapse
and i feel it in my lungs.
slowly turning into the old me
with fresh scars laid across my skin
and maybe i want to fall into old habits
just so everyone sees the pain
and finally sees the signs.
can't trust anything
coming from my head
because if i do i know
i'm gonna end up laying
on the bathroom floor with overflowing pills.
yeah, maybe i'm not okay
maybe i'm not normal
maybe i'm a little fucked up,
but these fake laughs
have to be enough to convince you
i'm fine,
even if i'm not.
YOU ARE READING
Scars and Stories { poetry }
Poetryanother poetry book, with no set theme, just a piece of paper and pen. make sure to vote, comment and share!! xoxo
