Scars and Stories { poetry }

losing my mind

— losing my mind

how do i tell you
that my voice is returning,
calling for my past
to resurface all over again?

i'm starting to feel sick,
something's gone wrong
but i don't know yet.

why do i do this to myself
torture every fiber
within my heart
and tell myself these lies?

'he doesn't love you'
'everyone hates you'
'no one wants you'

they seem so real,
each one taking away sleep
as i escape into these dreams
that haunt my mind for days.

slowly i'm losing my mind,
my mind is losing me
and everything is getting dark.

i can barely breathe
the anxiety flooding my chest
and taking over my thoughts,
how the fuck do i do this?

where do i go from here?
i hit the peaks
and now i'm sliding.

picking up old memories
and riddling myself with bullets
as i sink into a sea
of self hate.

doubting
every second i'm alone
and i'm scared.

what if i become
what i used to be
within a matter of seconds
and i lose everything?

these old memories
are starting to kill me
and i'm slipping back.

how will i survive
if i don't have him,
if i don't have a reason to smile,
a reason to live.