Scars and Stories { poetry }

past and present

— past and present

each summer is the same,
hide behind closed doors,
avoid the watchful eyes
of those who say they love you.

paralyzed,
laying on the floor,
wondering how i ended up here
so in love with you.

these cracks
among my skin
reflected in the cold sunlight
on a warm summer day.

regretting everything.
i never thought i would win
these old wars
despite what everyone would say.

now i have your hand
within my own grasp
and sometimes i can barely breathe
when i meet your gaze.

finally standing on land
no longer gasping
for air so i can breathe
and i'm out of poisoned water.

parents couldn't trust me alone
because i spent every night
crying myself to sleep
and covered in my own guilt.

i spent a lot of time at home
staring up at the moonlight
and every memory i keep
doesn't make me feel alone.

now i spend the time
laying in bed until three am
talking to you over the phone
and smiling at every moment.