sad and broken (poetry)

Only If You Knew

Sometimes,
I even wonder if I even miss you anymore. Or is it because I know that your gone and your not gonna come back? I never thought I would lose you. It doesn't feel real. Sometimes I even wonder if I should let go or keep holding your hand. Every song I listen to always reminds me of you. It's crazy to think think that the lyrics were written just for you. I miss you. Every damn thing about you. But most of all I miss seeing you smile. It's makes me weak just to think that I can't see that anymore. To be honest if I think your still here it makes me feel better. Knowing that your not far is a great feeling. But of seeing your face hits hard. It's like when a baseball gets hit by a bat. Right now. I don't know what to say. I'm confused and I feel like I'm alone all the time. If you ever wanna come back home, my door will always be open. If you ever wanna come home, you know that I will be here. I love you. I love you more then anything, and I mean it. There is no one else like you and no one will ever replace you. Like no one. You'll always be with me. No matter where you are. You mean a lot to be and would hit me if you left for good. Right now your just gone. But I have to understand that you are not gone forever. It's like a see you later, but instead it's a "long see you later". I look at the moon every night because it reminds me of you. Looking at the clouds move, reminds me of you. Watching the rain pour. Reminds me of you. Everything I do always has a little you in it. I could listen to music for hours and every song will have a memory of you. All I have now are memories. That's all I have left from you. So I'm taking that for granted. You are now a memory that I will cherish forever. I love you