needed you.

"Tobi"

Kabuto, he's done it. He's resurrected you and the rest of the dead Akatsuki, along with Madara. He knows who I am. But that's not what I'm focusing on. I'm more focused on you, Deidara. You're there. You're there right in front of my eyes. I can't believe it, it's actually you! Though, I have to hold back. I have to hold back from taking you away with me. Nobody's supposed to know my feelings for you. I'm going to have to stay away, cause it's not like I'm going to try to get close to every other person, isn't it? But you'd just get mad, you'd probably want to be there with Sasori.

You were so happy to see him again. You look up to him. He's been there for you. He understood you. He's your best friend. If you had to choose to work with someone between me and Sasori, you'd absolutely choose him. You both have the same interests, you've both worked together, why not?

Thinking of this everytime makes my heart ache. It hurts me mentally, then starts to hurt me physically. You probably didn't care if I'm alive or not. I need to stop thinking about this, thinking about you. This is just some bullshit getting be away from the things I'm trying to do. My mind is broken. I hate loving you so much. It's the dumbest, most retarded thing to do, especially when you have important things to focus on. I hate myself for loving you, I hate the thoughts I have for being with you, I hate crying for you, mourning, caring, thinking, apologizing, needing you. I'm such an idiot. You hurt my heart and head so much, too many times. Stop that. Stop making me fall for you. My mind is BREAKING. Never mind, it's already broken. Look at what you did. You did so many things that you didn't even know you did.

I resisted the urge to touch you and go near you. You fought. You got tricked. You got caught. You're an idiot. You realize how you wasted your life on Sasuke, and felt like a total dumbass. You disappear. You're not seen again. Or at least, not for them.

I'm walking, then suddenly, I see a light, a bright light showing in my eyes. What happend? Did I die? How did I die? Did someone attack from behind? I felt myself collapse. The light gets brighter. I'm in an empty white space. Deidara walks up to me. His hands move up. His hands are on the side of my mask. It's not as if he's trying to take off my mask. He looks at me. Tears start rushing down his dead eyes like a waterfall. His face has a normal expression, not like he's crying. A few seconds later his facial expressions show concern, then sadness. His face turns red. He's crying. He stares at me. He's starting to disappear.

"T-Tobi?"

His voice sounds cracked and broken. It's not just tears that's falling. He's really crying, I don't understand why.
Anyways, It's been a while since I've heard that name. Does he not know who I am? How would've he thought that it's me? Why is he crying? Why are his hands on my mask as if he's holding my face? Why was he staring at me? What happend to me? Did I get killed? Where am I? Most importantly, why is
he right here, in front of my eyes, crying for me, saying that dumb nickname while stuttering, in this bright area, where nothing else is, as he's disappearing? What's happening? I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say.

"D-Deidara w-w..?"

I don't know which question to ask. He's disappearing quicker. He's going away. I'm going to come clean with him, I want to tell him before he completely disappears.

"Deidara I..I,"

Before I complete my sentence, he disappears. His face disappears before his hands. His whole body disappears like somebody just blew dust off a surface. I fell. I fell down on my knees and started crying. I collapsed again. I can't get up. I don't want to get up. All I can see is the bright light. I screamed, I screamed his name. I screamed his name loud, loud enough to feel myself shake. I can't stop. I can't stop screaming and crying. I'm constantly calling out his name, loud, loud as if he could hear me, even though he just disappeared right in front of my eyes .I'm hurt. I feel a pain to my chest, like I just got stabbed my a sharp, huge blade called called "Love". You get hit in the chest everytime with it if you're rejected, heartbroken, or your loved one disappears. Away from your arms, away from your eyes, away from your body, away from you. I just got stabbed. Stabbed many times, from Deidara himself.

The bright room starts to get dark, then darker then darker, until I'm in a room of complete darkness. Then..

His dead face flashes in front of my eyes.

I wake up, scared. Was it a nightmare? I don't know what happend. I don't understand what happend. I'm scared. I'm crying. I collapse to the ground. I scream again, I can't help it. I'm so hurt. My head hurts. Where did he go? Why was he there? How did it start to happen? Questions, questions, questions are all over my head. I can't help it but scream and cry his name. He was there right in front of my eyes and I couldn't even finish a proper sentence. I need to see him again. I'm filled with confusion.

But at this time, I need to get my shit together and focus on my plans.

Please come back.

I want to see you again.