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Chapter 19: Guns A-Blazin'

Dean's POV

My phone began playing the signature guitar riff and I pulled it out of my pocket as quickly as possible. There was only one name I wanted to see flashing across the screen as I sped towards South Dakota. A sigh of relief escaped me when I saw her name. Maybe she's okay after all.

"Y/N, thank god-"

"Wrong." Abaddon's voice both made my blood boil and run cold all at one time. "I just thought you'd want to be a part of this little session."

I put the phone on speaker and hit Sam out of his slumber in the passenger seat.

"Dude," he complained before I shushed him. "Y/N or Abaddon?" he whispered.

"Abaddon," I growled.

I could hear Y/N whimpering and occasionally yelling out in the background as Abaddon attempted to persuade her to get her into the bunker. Y/N was refusing and Abaddon was doing something to hurt her. You pushed the gas petal almost flush to the floor. Sam gave you a look, but said nothing because he understood why. This was my fault. If I wouldn't have tried so hard to push her out of our lives...

I didn't hang up the phone. Hearing Y/N whimper and cry was one of the hardest things I've had to listen to, but at least it meant she was alive. If I stayed on the phone, I felt connected to her in a way, almost as if I was somehow helping her. It was ridiculous, but it made me feel a little better.

"How far out are we?" Sam asked.

"Twenty minutes."

A sound of agony cut through the air as Abaddon laughed into the speaker.

"You better it make ten. I'm not sure how much longer she'll hold out." The line went dead before I had the chance to say anything back. I growled in angry frustration and tossed my phone onto the dash board. It's always my fault. No matter what I do, no matter how many precautions I set in place, the people I care about either end up hurt or dead.

"Take it easy," Sam said calmly.

"Take it easy?" I scoffed. "How can I take it easy when this is my fault?"

"Dean, it's not your fault. You thought you were helping here."

"Yeah, well look there got her." My voice rose to a shout. "Nothing I do will ever protect the people I want to be safe. Everything I do always comes back to bite me in the ass. Sammy, I tired of being the cause of everything bad that's ever happened to our friends."

He let out an airy laugh and I looked over at him in the darkness. His face was illuminated by the headlights of a passing car. It amazed me how much he's changed over the years, yet somehow he was still my baby brother and I would always see him as the little kid I needed to protect.

"You can't keep blaming everything on yourself. Bad things happen to our friends because our friends are hunters. It's in the job description. You have to cut yourself some slack." He shook his head and some strands of his long hair fell from behind his ears.

"If we get her out of this, she's never going to forgive me," I whispered.

"I know we haven't known her long, but Y/N's a sweet girl. She's not going to hold this against you. Just don't be so afraid of her."

My jaw clenched. I wasn't afraid of her. I was afraid of hurting her, and for good reason. He knew that. Besides, it's never exactly been in my personality to allow people to get close to me. Sam has been the only person constant in my life and things seemed to work better that way. We know how each other operates. Typically, adding another person into the mix ended poorly for the other person. It didn't seem fair that we have had so many chances. It didn't seem fair that I have had so many chances.