Faith Heights

Chapter 43

Inching closer to Lucas, Nick goaded, "For such a shining knight, you've let your armour's kinks remain all too visible. They're there for the whole world to see- including Lila."

"Shut your mouth, Anikriel." Lucas spat.

Nick kept going, in that harsh, mocking voice, now turning to me. "There's a piece of the puzzle that Luke hasn't been willing to offer to you, isn't there? You want to know where we've been for your other lives? Do you want to know why it's taken us eons to catch up to you?"

I did, desperately. My own animal instincts kicked in, telling that if I stayed here with them for much longer, I'd be just as likely to be caught in whatever fight was looming. But my curiosity battled those deep-rooted instincts. I didn't know when I'd have this chance again. Not simply for answers, but for the truth. By now, I knew there was well and truly a difference between the two. 

Lucas was about to retaliate, but I raised a hand. "Let him talk." 

It came out as more of a plea, but still, Lucas shut his mouth, looking at Nick with knives in his eyes.

Nick continued with a grave majesty. "The lifetime after your first, while he was off reclaiming his title in heaven, I found you. I couldn't believe it. You even... you even started to remember who I was. But just as we were preparing to be wed, finally, after so long...he showed up and stole you away. Do you know what he did, Lila? Has he told you what his 'love' forced him to do to you?"

I don't want to hear this, my soul shrieked. But my heart begged me to listen. Either way, if I tried to move, my legs felt as if they would crumble.

"Stop." Lucas warned through clenched teeth. He tried to grasp for my hand, finally breaking Nick's stare. But I flinched away, stepping back out of his reach. The gesture made him flinch as if in pain.

"No. Keep going." I demanded.

Nick smiled with wicked triumph. Lucas looked torn between lunging at NIck, and grabbing for my arm to keep me from hearing what was to come next.

Nick didn't give him time to decide. "He stole you away and put you to sleep. With his newly restored abilities as a guardian, Golden Boy was able to control your soul's cycle. He killed you, and kept your soul sleeping until he thought it was safe to reawaken you. He didn't let you out of your slumber until I had disappeared completely from his radar. Until he thought I was long gone, black-halo deep in the darkest depths of hell. Then, and only then, he would wake you, and the search for your soul would begin anew. Your last life was in the eighteenth century. I had to lie in the shadows for over three hundred years before he deemed you ready to awaken at his side."

Lucas had... killed me?

In every lifetime?

Nick was the one here I had come to scream at. Lucas, even if I didn't love him in the way he'd hoped, was still the most kind, humble person I'd ever met. He'd healed Jackson. He'd been impossibly patient with me, while I had done nothing but waste his time. He was an angel. And he was supposed to be my soulmate.

Not my murderer.

Nick kept going, "Why do you think he's been so eager to take you away from here? Without you suspecting anything? He wants you alone, having left of your own free will so there's no questions asked. So he can take you away from me again."

I turned to Lucas, feeling queasy. Actually, queasy might have been a whopping understatement. He looked so stricken, but there was another glint in his eye that I could now put a name to. It was murderous.

Lucas pleaded, "Lila, please. Let's go back. I'll explain everything. I promise."

I shook my head violently. My hand went to my neck, as if the extra support could help my brain process the shock. "I really don't think there's much to explain, Lucas. Have you or have you not killed me before?"

I flinched at talking about my own death so casually. I had no memory or sentiment towards it, and yet, the horror of what Lucas had done to me – over and over again throughout the ages – was still like a thousand wounds to my heart. A soulmate was supposed to be with you through the world's sufferings, to guide and protect you, just as you protected them. But what Lucas had done was worse than simply opposing those naïve sentiments. Worse than merely killing me. He'd acted with the intention of keeping me from the man I had chosen to be with instead of him.

Lucas looked as if I'd physically struck him. "it wasn't like that. I had to protect you. I had to keep your soul safe from-"

"From what? From the man I'd chosen to love?" A thought popped into my head. I couldn't believe it hadn't occurred to me until now. "How did my first life truly end, Lucas? Tell me, here and now."

Nick cackled, folding his arms. I pointed a finger at him. "And you. You need to shut up until this is over. You've wreaked enough havoc over the centuries to think I shouldn't ever see you again."

I turned back to the angel. "So, did you, Lucas?"

Lucas looked down to the ground with a pained expression. 

That was all the confirmation I needed.

Despite my scolding, Nick chipped in with a cheery tone. "Oh, he didn't kill you the first time, Lila. That would have blemished his heart too much for heaven to have then restored him as an angel. No, instead he convinced your father, the leader of the tribe, to do it."

"What?"

Nic continued, Lucas with his head still hung. The demon reached for my hand, and I warily let him take it. "We were ready to run away together. It was the eve before your wedding to that winged scum. You told Lucas you couldn't go through with it. So he pretended to sympathise- and then went and told your father of our plans. Your father came after us with all his power and rid himself of you, and the stains you would have left upon his legacy."

Lucas snapped back to attention. "It wasn't like that, Lila! I would never have told him if I'd known what would happen..."

I snapped back at him, "You told me that I'd died naturally. That it was just a horrible accident." 

Realising what his exact words had been, I realised that an 'accident' could very easily mean an unintentional fit of anger. I never thought Lucas was capable of such a thing- let alone a man I'd once called my father.

I saw wetness fill his honey eyes, turning them to amber. "It was. It was a horrible, horrible accident. I'd have never told him if I thought anything would happen to you."

Nick pounced on his vulnerable tone. "No, you'd just kill her in all of her subsequent lives."

I felt like crawling up in a ball and banging my head against a wall, but I settled for sighing. Shakily. "Despite everything else, I believe what you've said, Lucas. That you never meant me any harm- in my first life, at least. I believe both of you. But Nick, you've clearly killed in my name, thinking it's all forgivable for the sake of love. And Lucas, you decided that I wasn't allowed to be happy - or even live - unless it was by your side."

Lucas tried again, sucking in a trembling breath. He looked just as unstable as I felt. "It wasn't like that Lila, I had to protect you-"

I felt myself recycling one of Nick's dark laughs. It made me feel hollow and nauseous. "At this point, I don't really care much for your excuses."

Before either of them could say anything more, I turned and stalked off through the trees. I needed to get out of there before I lost control, either punching a tree or sobbing like an infant. My walk quickly became a run, and I kept stumbling over the hidden brambles imbedded in the ground.

When I didn't hear anyone following me, I let my breath release in hitched gasps. I struggled to force in enough oxygen. A few minutes passed before I regained control, and I questioned if it had been a good idea to leave those two by themselves.

A moment later, I hear the thunderous groan of trees falling from their direction.

I guessed that answered my question.