Chapter 10- Second Chances

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I do love them both. Alex doesn't want to be the reason we broke up. He would be happiest with me, but if it makes him happy to not be the reason then I'll do it. Do it for him, Jemmy, for me.

We'll see how long this last. 
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TRIGGER WARNING; Talks of suicide and self harm


*Herules*(Thats new) 


It was the day before Alex got out of the hospital and the squad decided to go visit and play some games. 

I walk into his room first and I don't see the best sight ever. 


"Alex? Why are you crying?" 
"H-Hey Herc, hey guys. I'm not c-crying. I-I'm f-fine." 
"Mon Ami, your not fine. You are crying now tells us why." 
"Well um, I told James and Thomas, they could be together, because I didn't want to get in the way, but I love him, but if James makes Thomas happy then, it was the right choice, right?" 

I see John walk over to Alex's bedside. 
"Look Alex, buddy, you did the right thing, what you did was selfless. I think you did the right thing." 

Alex lunges and hugs John. After that, I leave. 

"Herc, where are you going!??" 
"I need to have a talk. I'll be back." 

I began walking despite any shouts of objection coming from the French baguette. 


TailorSpy- Where are you!
ThomasTheTrain-My dorm. Why? 

TailorSpy- I'm coming over. We need to have a talk. 
ThomasTheTrain- What did I do? 
Tailorspy- We'll talk about this when I get there. 

I started to drive. I sat there and ranted at my windshield. 

"Why the crap would he do that to Alex, if he really loved him then he wouldn't have just left him! He should have fought harder for him! I can't believe Thomas! Alex is so torn up about this! Alex deserves better than him! why does he love him!" 

I didn't realize that right now I was still ranting and yelling, and I was in front of Thomas's door. 
I knock. He answers and I barge in and start ranting once again. 
 
"How could you just walk away from Alex like that? He is sitting in a hospital bed crying! If you love him you shouldn't have just left him there to cry! How could you do this! I encouraged you and you do it! You did it! Then you just throw it all away for James! How could you possibly sleep at nigh-" 
"I did it because he was torn up about him being the reason we broke up, and I love James. If James and I together again makes Alex happy than that's what I need to do. " 
"But he's not happy!" 
"I don't want him to deal with the guilt of him being why we broke up. If he carries that guilt he'll never be happy!" 
"He is in a hospital bed crying. When I asked whats wrong he said that he lost you! He loves you. He doesn't want you to be with James, but he knows it's the right thing to do. I don't think  you should be around him anymore." 
"What? NO! Herc, I need to see him!" 
"No, no you don't. He is hurt, don't come around anymore. I know yall share a dorm, but when he comes back, stay away from him. I don't think you want to be the reason he cus again. N,o bringing James around too." 
"Herc, I can't lose him. I just got him." 
"You already lost him again. Make up for it." 
"But-" 

I grab him by the collar of his shirt and get close to his face. 
"Fix it." 
With that, I left back to the hospital. 

*Thomas*

Herc barged in. Yelled at me. I didn't know what to do except to let it happen. I didn't have an argument. He said to fix it. How? I just got back together with James. I'm not gonna flip flop back and forth over it. 

He left. I leaned against my door for support. 
"How?" I whispered out. I didn't know. Nobody was going to help me. It was all up to me. I couldn't ask for help.

This was up t me. 
I'm screwed. 
Herc is gonna kill me along with his crazy french boyfriend. 
They were obviously soulmates. Had it all figured out... 



Lucky. 


*Alex* 

Herc left really quickly and came back quickly too. I don't know what he did. He came and sat down next to my bed along with  John and Laf. 

"Where did you go Herc?" I ask. He just waves his hand at me. 
"Nowhere, it's nothing." 
"whatever you say." 
Laf gets up and pulls Herc out of the room. I just shrugged and turned to John. 
Before I can say anything the begins to talk. 

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry for ya to know all of this and what I did." 
"It's fine John. " 
"I was wondering if you well um if you wanted to try again?" He coiled up like he was expecting me to lash out at him. 

I smile. He is just too adorable 
"Yeah, I would love to." 
"REALLY?!" 
"Mhm." He jumps up an hugs me.
I heard quiet yelling then shuffling and then footsteps running in the other direction of my room. Soon after that Laf and Herc walked back into the room.  

"What was that all about?" 
"Nothing, just talking to Herc about where he went mon ami." 
"Oh, okay." 


*Laf* 
I take Herc out of the room. 

"Where did you go Herc?" 
"I went to talk to Thomas." 
"Speak of the devil- Thomas! What are you doing here? Ici pour voir Alex?"(Here to see Alex?) "Yeah, actually.""Why?" Herc pushes towards him.
 "Because I'm trying to fix it! Like you told me to do!"
"HERC!" I whisper-yell at Herc.
 "What! Alex was crying! what do you want me to do!"
 "You are such a mom friend."
"Whatever, I'm going in." Thomas moved towards the door. Herc and I didn't bother trying to stop him. He stopped on his own.

He back away from the door and ran away. What happened? 

*Alex* 

"What happened while we're out?" Laf asked, his voice thick with a French accent. 
"Um, well um, John?" My voice squeaked.
"Come on you two." John led them outside of the room leaving me alone and in silence until they burst into the room. 

"ALEX MON PETITE LION! YOU PLAYER! COME HERE YOU!" Laf leaped onto the bed and hugged me. John stood at the door and shrugged. Herc was still outside. He walked in looking angry. Why? 

"What up Herc?" 
"NOTHING!" With that, he left. He didn't come back. 
"Um, Laf, maybe you should go after him?"  I suggested. 
"Yeah, your right Lion, I should give you two alone time anyway!" He leaped up and ran down the hallway. 

Crazy day. 

*Thomas* 

I walked up to the door and hear John and Alex talking. 


"I just wanted to say I'm sorry for ya to know all of this and what I did."
"It's fine John. "
"I was wondering if you well um if you wanted to try again?"
"Yeah, I would love to."
"REALLY?!"
"Mhm."
My heart breaks. I was coming here to talk to Alex about starting over. I didn't break up with James yet. I back away. My hand is over my mouth and I can feel the tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. I run away. I don't know where I'm running. I feel the tears streaming down my face like an over flooded river. I end up at my dorm. 

The bathroom. 
Razors. 



I'm too much of a wimp to commit suicide. But I want to relieve the pain and guilt I feel. I might
Otherwise, I think might break completely. 


A/N YOU DIDNT THINK I WOULD LET IT BE THAT EASY DID YOU!
So sorry I haven't updated I just finished taking one of my finals! 3 more to go. :,l
BUT! I do have a three day weekend so expect at least 2 more chapter on Tuesday. Hope yall enjoyed and thank you for reading as always 

BBBBBBBBBYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!







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