Goodbye Emiline

16 | flashback

THE BOWL OF CEREAL remains untouched in front of Kira. Her throat feels constricted, the same time her heart feels like stumbling out of her ribcage. Her head is pounding in an unusual way, and she feels like any moment now she might throw up.

There're certain things that Kira wants to remember, and obviously on top of that list is what had happened for the last months. But seeing flashbacks about her and Emiline fighting isn't something that Kira is anticipating.

It sure do seems real, and it most probably is. Kira thinks that maybe she is trying to persuade Emiline to go back again that's why they fought. She recovered just like two seconds of memories back though, which doesn't really amount to anything.

"Your mom asked me to take you out shopping," Eleanor chimes in as she places her phone down the table, "are you okay?"

Kira looks up to see Eleanor's blue eyes staring at her, concern written all over her face. Kira wants to tell her what she had just remembered but she finds it hard to look up for the right words on how she'll explain it.

It's really easy actually, but she still finds it hard to talk.

"Emiline and I fought," she says finally as Eleanor settles herself down the seat next to her on their kitchen table.

"When? Did you talk to her?" she asks Kira who is continuously staring on the still untouched bowl of cereal in front of her. She can't breathe, couldn't find her lungs to cooperate, her mind is all being clouded up and her heart feels heavy on her chest.

"What is wrong with you?!" Emiline asks her irritated, she's standing at the side of the rooftop, her feet bare.

"No, what is wrong with you?" Kira snaps back, "It's all over. After a few months all of these won't matter anymore! Come on."

"Funny because you can say that because you're not in my position!"

"I don't know," she answers. Eleanor places her hands on top of Kira's, squeezing it tight. It's supposed to calm her down, but it doesn't.

"Is it a memory?" Eleanor asks once more hoping that she'd get Kira to open up and stop bottling up whatever she's feeling as of the moment.

Kira nods, "I'm feeling nauseous. I think I need some rest."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Eleanor offers, "It would be good for you, I guess."

Kira just smiles waving her off, "No, I'm all right. Thanks. Sorry about my mom, she's making you do errands."

Eleanor waves her off, "Oh come on Kira, we're friends. When will you stop carrying all your baggages alone?"

Kira sighs, thinking that if Emiline is here, she would have somebody to talk to about everything. But funny how at this moment, Emiline is gone and she's the reason why Kira's head is being all jumbled up.

Not in any mood to finish her cereal anymore, Kira stands up from her seat taking the bowl of cereal to the sink.

"Kira," Eleanor says but stops halfway through, unsure of what she'll say next. Kira looks at her waiting but Eleanor just waves her hand off, "no nevermind."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Eleanor answers, "You sure you're okay? You don't want to go out and get some fresh air? Or at least be in a different place?"

"I'm fine," Kira smiles, surprisingly, not the usual forced one that she had mastered for the past weeks, "Thank you for being here. I'll just take a nap, you can watch a movie if you want. I'll be down in an hour."

Eleanor nods standing up and opening the refrigerator to search for foods, "Take a rest."

Kira nods and headed straight upstairs towards her bedroom, images of her and Emiline fighting stuck inside her head.

She can't help but wonder what that is about. She thinks that maybe it's about Emiline not wanting to go back.

But a part of her wonders, what if it's something deeper than that?