𝕥𝕠𝕠 𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕖 • 𝕞.𝕔

chapter 29

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"Cheers!" the whole table exclaimed happily, except... Me, obviously. Being the pregnant one, I wasn't exactly planning on having drinks, and even if I didn't really like it anyway, I felt sort of left out to have to raise my glass of appletiser instead of champagne.

   Michael, Calum, Luke, Ashton, Amanda and I were all gathered in this small restaurant (if you could even call it that). The temperature outside was rather cold, the start of October had been insanely freezing, for some reason... But then, perhaps I had just been too used to the warmth of the summer (how silly was I sounding? I hated summer usually). Who knew? Anyway, as we were all sitting there, I could see that Amanda was trying her hardest to make me feel at ease, so I was a part of the conversation. And most times, it worked, but then, others, I definitely felt as if I was missing out on many things, and as if they didn't really wanted to talk to me. Or probably, I was too self-centred. Could've been that.

   The place was lovely; I loved this pub. I had been there quite a few times when I used to be friends with Emma, when we just wanted to chill and eat something quick and simple with Amy and Megan. Oh, how times had changed. The atmosphere was warm, welcoming, and I felt at home, which was rare. This was probably my favourite pub in Camden Town, called The Camden Head. It was well-decorated, and people in there were all apparently feeling quite well. The six of us were all sitting around a table in the back of the room, soft music playing, while way in front of us, men were watching the football.

   I was feeling slightly uncomfortable around Ashton, because of our... History, let's say. I never hated him, I could never see him as a proper enemy (we were adults now, for Goodness' sake), but something deep down was telling me to stay away from him. It mostly was common sense, though; it was very clear that the way he was feeling towards me showed that he wasn't prone to being friends. At all. So for now, I was sitting down, squeezed on the soft bench between Michael and Calum, trying to enjoy the evening. It was important for Michael to be here with me and his friends altogether; so I made an effort, and tried my very hardest to be accepted. Being the new one in a friendship group was never easy, and I knew that perfectly.

"Did anyone go to the Los Camp concert this summer? When he came to London?" Amanda asked.

"Well, we were supposed to go," Michael said. "But I didn't get tickets on time, I felt a bit shit about it."

Calum chuckled. "Michael, you always think too quickly, and that leaves you in these kind of situations."

"Yeah, he always acts or says things before he actually thinks about the ending of it all," Ashton acknowledged sarcastically. There was an awkward silence following his last sentence.

"Are you quite finished?" Amanda asked.

"What?" Ashton smiled. "What did I say?"

"You know what you said," his girlfriend retorted. "Enough, Ashton."

   He didn't say anything else for a few minutes as the conversation went on. Michael turned to me and grimaced slightly, as if he was embarrassed for Ashton. It sort of pained me to see the both of them like that; I felt as if all of this mess was because of me. If I had never came into Michael's life, Ashton wouldn't have been that much of an asshole. But what was done was done.

"I'm sorry," Michael whispered in my ear, leaning in to me. I could feel his familiar fragrance and his minty breath. I shivered. "He doesn't mean it."

And I knew that, yeah, obviously, he did mean it, but I just nodded. "I know, it's okay."

   Before our dishes arrived, I went outside for a little bit, to clear up my mind a bit and also to breathe in fresh air. God, I was getting flushed, almost sweating for some unknown reason. Amanda followed me, accompanying me.