Chapter 9: A Nightmare To Remember

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I was in a big white room, it was so beautiful. I was alone except for a figure walking towards me. I moved closer so I could see her face, it was my mom! But something was wrong I could feel it. When she got closer I could see her eyes wear black! I tried to run but with a flick of her hand, I was on the ground. "I'm dead because of you!" she said. She put her hands around my neck and yelled: "It's all your fault!"

I woke up screaming, crying. I buried my face in my hands and cried harder. I had had dreams like that before, I blame myself for my mom's death.

I was so busy crying I didn't know that someone had come into the room in tile I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was John, "You alright luv?" he asked. I just shook my head no. "Do you want to talk about it?" I just whimpered.

"It was about Mom," I said in a shaky tone. I looked up and John had a look of concern and surprise in his eyes. "She said it was my fault, her dying. She wasn't wrong."

"Coraline I don't care how she died it wasn't your fault!" he said, a little mad I would think something like that.

"How do you know," I snapped "you've known me for what, two days!"

John looked at me and sat next to me, "I know that I wasn't here, and I'm sorry."

"If you had known," I said, not knowing if I want to know the answer, "would you have stayed?"

He thought for a minute, which felt like a sentry and then answered. "I don't know. I like to think I would have."

I felt another tear run down my cheek. "Ok," I said quietly.

"I'm so-" he was going to say I'm sorry, but I stopped him.

"Don't apologize, you didn't know, and my life has been ok. I have an adoptive mom, Nora. And I have two sisters Bex, and Tuhalla, and a brother Oggy. I was ok, I turned out pretty good considering."

He smiled and hugged me, "Thank you," he said.

"Your welcome," I said "Dad." he chuckled.

I went to bed, and I asked though, can I forgive myself?

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