Operation: M.I.A

XIX // "Yes, I do." ... "No, you don't."

I look intently at Zander, not letting him have the upper-hand or the domination he craves. I demand his gaze and hope my stare is enough to prevent him from looking away at the ground or at his shoes in embarrassment. I don't want him to cower under the pressure of a single question from me. I want him to be brave and admit it. And if he really isn't an assassin, I want him to say with undeniable confidence so I can truly believe him.

Being the strong personality he is, he doesn't look away. Instead, he looks into my eyes hard and cold, without the concern that existed a few moments ago. I momentarily regret asking such a stupid question.

Zander's mouth moves slightly and I know there are a thousand things he wants to say that he isn't.

He huffs and runs a hand through his messy hair. Then he looks at me straight. "Why would you ask me that?" he asks emotionlessly.

It is a calculated and, admittedly, smart response. But now, I don't know what to say. I don't really know what led me to believe he was one of the BOSS assassins. There has been many things all along, I guess. "I've had suspicions," I state plainly.

Zander nods, but doesn't meet my eyes. When he finally does bring his head around to look in my direction, he looks mad. "Well, that's very immature, Decklynn. Just because I killed one person... to save you..," he stops for a moment and shakes his head slightly. "It was to save-"

"I know!" I yell.

"Well then I need you to trust me that I did that for you. You have no reason to be suspicious that I kill people regularly." His voice is even now, but still holds traces of his defensiveness.

"I know that. Which is why I haven't accused you yet. But you still haven't answered me, and I don't trust you."

The boy that stand in front of me looks like he just lost all affection for me. "You don't-"

"I trust you. But I don't trust you are telling me the truth right now," I clarify. I expected those words to clear up the distant attitude in him, but it doesn't.

Zander lifts his arm and scratches the back of his neck absentmindedly. "Good luck, then." He walks passed me and heads toward the fire escape.

I freeze, motionless as his steps fade in the wind. I whip around just in time to see him jump off the side of the building. Thankfully, I know there is a landing there. Otherwise I think I would have had a heart attack. I need him. "Zander! Wait! What in God's name are you doing?" I scream, not sure if he can hear me over the violent winds.

I run to the edge of the roof top and jump over the precipice, knowing the landing will catch me before I fall too far. My feet leave the building once and for all and quickly thereafter hit the metal grates of the landing. I bend my knees to cushion my landing and then rise up to my full height. I lean over the railing, looking down to see how far Zander had made it. But I don't see him.

"We are a bit dramatic, don't you think?" I hear from behind me. I turn sharply to see Zander leaning casually, and most mysteriously against the brick wall of the building. The landing is quite small, and I have no idea how I didn't see him lurking in the shadows there.

I let my tense shoulders relax and I sigh. "I suppose," I answer. I know it. I have never been this emotional, dramatic, or unrealistic but this last couple of weeks I have hit the roof. In good ways and in bad. This is like a soap opera. It feel stressed and drawn out and it is the polar opposite of our personalities. Usually.

I do not feel like myself, if I think about it. Before Zander miraculously appeared in my apartment early in the morning, I was content living in complete solitude with the spare job here and there.