Love's Like Thunder and Storm (Love Like Series #4)

Chapter Three

Ruby

Oliver dropped me off in front of my apartment building. It was raining, small little annoying droplets triggered buried memories. When I got inside the building I halted and watched his car driving away. For a second, I wanted him to stay, maybe because I was already subconsciously addicted to the protection he was bestowing me.

I shook my head and headed for the elevator. It'll be another lonely night, where rain will pour down from heaven, joined with its allies; thunder and storm. Not even a sleeping pill will save me from my nightmares.

I ditched my purse along with my keys on the small rounded table in the hallway. After dropping my coat in the bedroom, I didn't waste time to get into the shower. The warm water almost burned my skin, fog began to loom over the bathroom. I felt my bones relax, my shoulders dropping and my thoughts went empty. A complete silence.

Eventually I turned the shower off and wrapped a towel around my body. I exit the bathroom and went straight to my bedroom. I sighed when I heard the sound of the rain from outside. As usual a small headache climbed its way over to my temples. I tried to ignore it as I went inside my walk-in-closet, only stopping in front of the full-length mirror. The sight of myself always made me feel like a thousand needles and pins were digging into my skin, harming it until dirty blood was splattered all over my body. Making me a monster. I saw my own reflection. I let go of my towel, letting it fall down to my feet. Hazel eyes watched me back. I continued to observe myself. Long neck. Collarbones showing and defined. Full round breasts. Small waist. My hips were slightly wide and even thought my thighs were strong and leaning towards the more smaller size there was still no gap between them. Not that I minded, it was the least of my worry.

What really caused me to hide myself, not just from other people's eyes but also from my own was my scar. A cold chill ran through my body, goosebumps made every single hair on my arms to stand up and suddenly I wanted nothing else but to curl under my covers and never get out in the sunlight. The faded white scar ran from my cheekbone, along my jaw and down to my neck until it traced a path down to my breast, almost touching my nipple. It was disgusting. The color managed to still stand out from my pale skin, drawing every unwanted attention to it. People never saw me. They always saw the scar. Eyes of compassion and pity in their eyes made a deep fury unravel within me. Sometimes it was eyes of fear. I hated it. I hate the fear in their eyes, especially when I know I was completely harmless. I also hated how they thought they understand the pain and the constant struggle I face every day.

But it didn't matter how I hated it. I've been around those people far too long, and as a day after a day passes, my courage and self-love has downed into self-esteem and into this weak.... woman.

I tore my eyes away from myself and picked my towel up and gave my back to the mirror. My eyes were welled with angry tears as I dried myself and put on my usual pajamas. After combing my hair, I went to my kitchen and prepared a couple of slices of watermelon before sitting down in the living room. For two hours I went through some files, observing the information and noting down significant tasks to do for tomorrow. The whole time, I could feel my anxiety and panic raising with the rhythm of the pouring rain. Finally, when I heard the first sound of the booming thunder I snapped. I ditched the files and made sure that windows and doors were closed and locked before turning the lights off and sprinting to my bedroom. Once under the cover, I reached out for my sleeping pill and the glass of water. Gulping everything down my throat, I finally sank down on my bed just when a lighting stroke.

Five minutes later, my eyes weakened and I felt my body going numb. But I knew it won't be for long.

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