Divergent: Four

Chapter 14

Song: Last First Kiss by One Direction

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Hand in hand, we walk to the Pit. I run my fingertips down her palm, making Tris shiver slightly.

"So..." She says. "Four fears."

"Four fears then; four fears now," I say, nodding. "They haven't changed, so I keep going in there, but... I still haven't made any progress."

"You can't be fearless, remember?" Tris says, clutching my hand tightly. "Because you still care about things. About your life."

"I know."

We walk along the edge of the Pit on a narrow path that leads to the rocks at the bottom of the chasm. I lead Tris carefully.

"You were going to tell me about our aptitude test results," she says.

"Ah." I scratch the back of my neck. "Does it matter?"

"Yes. I want to know."

"How demanding you are," I say, smiling.

We reach the end of the path and stand in the bottom of the chasm, where the rocks form unsteady ground, rising up at harsh angles from the rushing water. I lead Tris up and down, across small gaps and over angular ridges.

I find a flat rock near the side, where the current isn't too strong and sit down. My long legs dangling over the edge and Tris follows suit.

I release Tris's hand. "There are things I don't tell people, you know. Not even my friends."

The roar of the chasm ensures we won't be overheard.

"My result was expected," I say. "Abnegation."

"Oh."

"But you chose Dauntless anyway?" Tris says.

"Out of necessity." Marcus, his belt, abuse, and closet.

"Why did you leave?"

My eyes dart away from hers and I search for an answer. But didn't give her one.

"You had to get away from your dad," Tris says. "Is that why you don't want to be a Dauntless leader? Because if you were, you might have to see him again?"

I lift a shoulder. "That, and I've always felt that I don't quite belong among the Dauntless. Not the way they are now, anyway."

"But you're... incredible," she says. Tris pauses and clears her throat. "I mean, by Dauntless standards. Four fears is unheard of. How could you not belong here?"

I shrug. "I have a theory that selflessness and bravery aren't all that different. All your life you've been training to forget yourself, so when you're in danger, it becomes your first instinct. I could belong in Abnegation just as easily."

"Yeah, well," she says. "I left Abnegation because I wasn't selfless enough, no matter how hard I tried to be."

"That's not entirely true." I smile at her easily. She's the only person I could smile to without wanting to be serious again, she brings the goofiness out of me. "That girl who let someone throw knives at her to spare a friend, who hit my dad with a belt to protect me- that selfless girl, that's not you?"

Tris frowns in the cutest way that is possible. "You've been paying close attention, haven't you?"

"I like to observe people," I lied.

"Maybe you were cut out for Candor, Four, because you're a terrible liar."

I chuckle and put my hand on the rock next to me, my fingers lining up with hers. Here goes nothing.