We're Not Immune | The Death Cure Newt Fanfic

Chapter 18

"Abby...Abby, I think we need to leave." Thomas was shaking her shoulder.

"What?" Abby expressed, looking up at him. Her ready eyes met his, but Thomas looked away and over at something else. She followed his gaze and saw that he was staring at last seven or eight Cranks in front of them. They had clearly taken notice of Abby and Thomas and they had surely seen what happened to Newt just seconds before. And they were slowly stepping closer.

Abby saw that Thomas was right about them needing to leave. "We can't just leave him here!" she tried, talking about Newt, "We can get away from the Cranks, fight them off. And maybe we can save him if we move fast enough and get back to the Right Arm. Maybe...we might have a chance..." Abby tried to think of something that could fix what happened. Something that could bring Newt back.

But Thomas looked at her, his eyes saying that there was nothing they could do for him. Abby slowly came to realize that and it hurt her more than anything else.

She closed her eyes and brought Newt's limp hand up to her forehead, closing his fingers around her hand. Holding it seemed like a last bit of hope. After giving his hand one final squeeze, she let go. There was a slight pain in her chest as Thomas pulled her away. Abby stumbled to the van and jumped inside just after Thomas. In just seconds, Lawrence pressed the gas and the van shot forward, away from the approaching Cranks. And away from Newt.

°

It was silent for a whole minute as the van moved along. Abby wasn't even crying anymore. She couldn't cry any longer. No tears were left.

It couldn't be real. She felt completely numb and the world flew by moving along without her. Maybe that was just because she was staring out the window as they drove, but it didn't really matter.

Eventually, Thomas spoke. He was sitting next to Abby in the back of the van rather than in the front passenger seat. "Newt wanted me to do it," he began, "I don't know why he chose me and I really, really wish that he hadn't, but he did. I was so confused after I found out, I told myself I could never do that to him."

"You knew that he wanted to die and you didn't say a word about it to me?" Abby interrupted. She was practically shouting at him, not even caring that Lawrence was listening.

"He told me to keep you out of it," Thomas admitted, "I thought that even if there was nothing else I could do for him, I could at least keep his promise on that. I practically didn't even do that since you saw it happen."

"I could have done something to help, Thomas," Abby snapped, "I could have gotten to talk to him one last time or...something!" She put her elbows on her knees, leaning forward.

"Abby, all he wanted was to not become a Crank. He just didn't want to turn all the way and go crazy so that he hurts people," Thomas defended, "When I talked to him, he wasn't himself. He was already being majorly affected by the Flare, which means I already failed him. I was scared when he jumped on me, but for a couple of seconds, I saw the real him. Newt, the boy who did whatever he could to help other people and just needed me to do one thing for him. I'm so sorry Abby. I know you'll probably never forgive me, but I hope you can at least understand why it happened."

Abby didn't say a word and moved back to look out the window. It made sense that Newt had wanted to protect her and keep her out of it. That was completely like him, wanting to keep her safe. And it also made sense that he would rather die than go crazy and hurt other people. Abby couldn't even begin to imagine what I must be like to not be in control of yourself.

(**possible triggering subjects, skip the next paragraph if you need to**)

A memory flashed in Abby's mind. It was when Newt and she were in the Berg, alone together. He had told her how he got his limp from trying to kill himself back in the maze. It suddenly became clear why Newt asked Thomas to help him. He thought that if he tried to save himself from turning into a Crank with no help, it wouldn't work. Like it didn't when he broke his leg and got his limp as a constant reminder.