Be More Homo {Be More Chill Book} •{DISCONTINUED}•

Love, Michael

Fifty chapter mark!!
You probably all know what this is so I won't explain anything.

NOTE: This is taken directly from the book with a few changes to fit with the au. I do not take any credit for writing this story, only for the character assignments. You are basically reading the book, except the characters are replaced with BMC characters.

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FROM: dontworry.behappy@gmail.com
TO: bluegreen610@gmail.com
DATE: Oct 17 at 12:06 AM
SUBJECT: Re: when you knew

    That's a pretty sexy story, Blue. I mean, middle school is like this endless horror show. Well, maybe not endless, because it ended, but it really burns into your psyche. Puberty is merciless.
    I'm curious---have you seen him since your mom's wedding?
    I don't even know when I figured it out. It was a bunch of little things. Like this weird dream I had once about Daniel Radcliffe. Or how I was obsessed with Passion Pit in middle school, and then I realized it wasn't really about the music.
    And then in eighth grade, I had this girlfriend. It was one of those things where you're “dating” but you don't ever go anywhere outside of school. And you don't really do anything in school either. I think we held hands. So, we went to the eighth-grade dance as a couple, but my friends and I spent the whole night eating Fritos and spying on people from under the bleachers. And at one point, this girl comes up to me and tells me my girlfriend is waiting for me in front of the gym. I was supposed to go out there and find her, and I guess we were supposed to make out. In that closed-mouth middle school way.
    So, here's my proudest moment: I ran and hid like a freaking preschooler in the bathroom. Like, in the stall with the door closed, crouched up on the toilet so my legs wouldn't show. As if the girls were going to break in and bust me. Honest to God, I stayed there for the entire evening. And then I never spoke to my girlfriend again.
    Also, it was Valentine's Day. Because I'm that classy. So, yeah, if I'm being completely honest with myself, I definitely knew at that point. Except I've had two other girlfriends since then.
    Did you know that this is officially the longest email I've ever written? I'm not even kidding. You may actually be the only person who gets more than 140 characters from me. That's kind of awesome, right?
    Anyway, I think I'll sign off here. Not going to lie. It's been kind of a weird day.
   ---Salazar

FROM: bluegreen610@gmail.com
TO: dontworry.behappy@gmail.com
DATE: Oct 17 at 8:46 PM
SUBJECT: Re: when you knew

    I'm the only one? That's definitely kind of awesome. I'm really honored, Salazar. It's funny, because I don't really email, either. And I never talk about this stuff with anyone. Only you.
    For what it's worth, I think it would be incredibly depressing if your actual proudest moment happened in middle school. You can't imagine how much I hated middle school. Remember the way people would look at you blankly and say, “Um, okaaay,” after you finished talking? Everyone just had to make it so clear that, whatever you were thinking or feeling, you were totally alone. The worst part, of course, was that I did the same thing to other people. It makes me a little nauseated just remembering that.
    So, basically, what I'm trying to say is that you should really give yourself a break. We were awful then.
    To answer your question, I've seen him a couple of times since the wedding---probably twice a year or so. My stepfather seems to have a lot of family reunions and things. He's married, and I think his wife is pregnant now. It's not awkward, exactly, because the whole thing was in my head. It's really amazing, isn't it? Someone can trigger your sexual identity crisis and not have a clue they're doing it. Honestly, he probably still thinks of me as his cousin's weird twelve-year-old stepson.
    So I guess this is the obvious question, but I'll ask it anyway: If you knew you were gay, how did you end up having girlfriends?
    Sorry a your weird day.
   ---Blue