Be My Superman (A Louis Tomlinson Fan Fiction)

Chapter 9

Louis’s POV

I can’t take her to prom.
I can’t call her Josie.
I can’t go and cuddle her.
I can’t say she’s my best friend without there being some questioning behind it.
I can’t go to stop her tears.
I can’t talk to her that much at all.

But, you know what I can do? I can try and fix this. And, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I will find a way to fix this as soon as possible.

I tore myself away from my bed. It was 3:30 AM and I haven’t been able to sleep ever since the fight. But, Josie--I mean Joslynn-- is right. We’ve done nothing but fight this week, all because of me.

And, I don’t think I care that she doesn’t want me calling her Josie. I will call her Josie, even if she can’t stand for it. It’s weird; it’s as if the name itself is a part of me I can’t let go. It seems extremely stupid, I know...but, I don’t care. She is Josie. She will always be Josie. MY Josie. No one else’s.

Josie is always going to be my best friend, even if she’s not returning the favor.

I decided I needed to do something about this. I have to fix it.

I then quietly walked towards the door of Harry’s and my room. My feet hit the cold and dark wood floor as I quietly opened the door. I left the door slightly ajar so I could get back in without making any other noise.

I then quickly and quietly went downstairs and into the kitchen. I had someone to call. It may be 3:30 AM here, but it’s 11:30 AM in London.

I went and sat down on the kitchen counter and pulled out my phone. I clicked on my contacts and found his name. My finger hovered over the ‘call’ button. What was I going to say? “Hey there, I screwed up everything and it could affect my personal life and career. Care to help?”

No. That wouldn’t work. I would just have to tell the truth, starting from the beginning.

I found my thumb hitting the ‘call’ button and I lifted the phone to my ear.

1 ring.

2 rings.

3 rings.

4 rings.

“Hello, you have reached the voicemail of 1-8-....” the system listed off the number. They didn’t answer. But, I decided to leave a message.

Beeeeeep.

“Uh, hey, it’s Louis...Listen, I just really need some help right now, and I think you’re my best bet. Please give me a ring as soon as possible...I’m...I’m just...really lost right now. So, um, yeah...please ring soon. ...Bye.”

I slammed my phone onto the counter and tears started to spill. What was I thinking? They’re not going to want to help me, anyway. I’m just some kid who’s managed to screw everything up; why would they care?

I cried for about five minutes until I heard my phone ring. My face lifted a little, though the tears were still fresh. I didn’t think they would call me back. I quickly hit accept and put the phone on speaker. I felt weak and lazy, so I just let my phone sit there and decided to talk that way.

“Hello, Louis? You there?” the voice asked. I realized I hadn’t said anything yet.

“Oh, yeh, hey, Simon...I need some help....”


Joslynn’s POV

It was a little past 3:30 AM. I couldn’t sleep. I can’t sleep knowing what Louis did, and knowing that these stupid little fights are tearing us apart. But, he doesn’t deserve my forgiveness until this is fixed.

I crawled out of my warm bed, which has felt really empty ever since Louis stopped staying in here. But, I guess I should get used to it, anyway. He leaves in a little over a week. Then, we’ll be apart again for who knows how long.

I then left my room and decided to go down to the kitchen. I could use a late night snack or something. I just need to think. I haven’t even studied for my exam. I’m just going to wing it. Let’s see how well THAT goes over...

I crept down the stairs quietly, not wanting to wake anyone in the house. But, I froze at the bottom step. Around the corner and in the kitchen, I could hear two people talking. One was definitely Louis...and the other voice seemed to be coming out of a phone.

I quietly creeped around a corner to see what was happening. Louis was sitting at the counter, looking stressed. He looked as if he had been...crying? He rarely cries...that’s odd. But he was sitting there, his head in his hands as he was talking to someone on the phone, and his phone was on speaker, so I could easily hear their conversation.

I know I shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but I couldn’t help but listen.

“Hey, Louis, what can I help you with?”

Louis sniffed and said, “I’m having a bit of a dilemma.”

He was talking about our fight. But who was that on the other end? Clearly someone from England.

“What seems to be the problem?” asked the voice.

“Well, you know how we did the interview yesterday? And I said that Joslynn was my girlfriend in it?”

“Ah, yes, I was listening. And congratulations, Louis. She’s a good girl for you from the few times I’ve met her.”

Simon.

“Well, the problem is...I sort of said she was my girlfriend...when she isn’t really my girlfriend...” Louis trailed off.

I heard a loud sigh and a disappointed Simon said, “Louis, how did you manage to do that?”

“I...I don’t know...I was just thinking a lot before and I was getting stressed about the question before it even came. When they asked, I said what I was thinking about...and well...”

“You were thinking about Joslynn being your girlfriend?”

“Yeh...” WHAT. Why was Louis thinking that? We were best friends! He couldn’t possibly like me...

“Well, Louis, what do you want me to do?” asked Simon.

“Could you...maybe get us another interview? I’m sorry if it’s a lot to ask...but...I just really messed things up with her. She’s convinced I did it as some joke or something...but I wouldn’t ever do that to her...” Louis said, tears starting to go down his face.

Oh my God.

Simon sighed and said, “I’m really busy right now, Louis...and it’s not exactly easy for me to set up an interview on such short notice...”

That’s when Louis broke. The tears came faster. “Simon, you don’t understand. The girl that is my everything is upstairs and doesn’t give a shit about me right now, all because I said that. I was afraid to fix it after I said it, and it just didn’t feel right trying to go back and correct what I did, and it still doesn’t feel right to say she’s not my girlfriend. I don’t even know why...”

“Maybe it didn’t feel right to go back and fix it because you actually want her as your girlfriend.” Simon said. Louis didn’t say anything. Why isn't he saying anything?!  “Louis...have you ever thought about asking Joslynn to be your girlfriend? Don’t lie to me.”

Louis sighed before saying, “Yes...”

What. On. Earth.

“Maybe you should ask her.”

“She would never say yes. Plus, we’re...best friends...nothing more....”

“Louis Tomlinson, I know you. And I know when you like a girl. She may be your best friend, but sometimes, best friends fall for each other. It’s something you have to learn to embrace. Trust me, it will be a lot easier to just come out and say ‘I like her’ rather than keeping all of your feelings bottled in.”

“I don’t like her...” Louis said in an unsure voice. He didn’t like me. There. He said it. The words came straight from his mouth.

I shouldn’t be hurt by this, but I am. Hearing this was overwhelming. I quietly slid down the wall and pulled my knees to my chest. Tears started falling. I’m so confused.

Simon sighed and said, “Louis, I don’t think you want to admit that you do. And we all know that she likes you. You’re both just too scared to admit it.”

“No, it’s not like that...” Louis trailed off.

“Then what is it like, Louis?”

“I...I don’t even know anymore...”

“Exactly. You can’t answer that question. Louis, I know it’s really hard to admit it right now because you’re probably still new to the idea. But, here’s some advice- don’t think about it too much. Just let whatever happens happen. There will be a day when you’re strong enough to accept all that you feel and there will be a day when you’re strong enough to say what you feel. Today may not be that day. Maybe I’m wrong, but I think you two would look absolutely brilliant together.”

The tears fell faster. Louis couldn’t ever want me. I’m not good enough.

“I just don’t know, Simon...I really don’t. I just know that right now, I’m screwed. She doesn’t want to even look at me, Simon. The girl I think I may lo-...I mean, the girl that...means...the world to me...doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

Did he almost say what I think he almost did? Just the thought made me cry harder. I was trying so hard to be quiet, so I just let the silent tears fall.

Simon sighed before saying, “Okay, I’ll tell you what, Louis. I will get you the first interview I can scheduled for you all. In this interview, I want the truth. You need to tell them exactly what happened. Your fans don’t deserve to be lied to, and I don’t blame Joslynn for being mad at you. She wasn’t expecting it, so you just need to be completely honest for now on, okay? I know it will be hard, but you have to do it. You don’t have to give them every single detail, just be sure what comes out of your mouth is one hundred percent true. Can you promise me that?”

Louis paused and sniffled a bit before saying, “I...I promise, Si.”

“Okay, great. I’ll get you one set up and I’ll call to let you know when it is.”

“Thank you so much, Uncle Simon...you honestly don’t know how much I needed that talk.”

Simon sighed before saying, “I had a feeling you were only calling at 3:30 AM your time for something important. I’m here for you, Louis, whether it’s relationship drama or your career. I’m not just part of your management.”

“Thanks, Uncle Simon.”

“You’re welcome, Louis. Now, go get some sleep. You need it.”

“Okay. Night, Si.”

“Goodnight, Louis.”

I quickly got up and ran. I ran as fast as I could up the stairs and I ran into my bedroom. I quickly shut the door and went straight for my bed. The tears were falling long and hard. That was one of the hardest things I’ve ever heard in my life.

I don’t understand why I’m crying. I really don’t. I just need someone to tell me everything is going to be okay, but I’ve pushed that person away. I’ve messed up everything. Why didn’t I listen to Louis? I’m a horrible person for accusing him of playing a prank.

He won’t want to forgive me. I know he said that he needs me, but I don’t think I deserve him. I’m the one who owes him an apology at this point. I shouldn’t have gotten mad at him for not immediately fixing everything. I should have listened to him. I should have believed him.

He’s got a lot on his mind. I don’t understand what he’s feeling, all I know is...I need him. But, I can’t have him right now. I’ve already pushed him away.

I was sobbing at this point. I didn’t want to wake anyone or let Louis hear me, but I couldn’t help it.

After about two more minutes of full on sobbing, I heard a knock at the door. I couldn’t get up and get it. I feel too weak. The door opened and I saw a very concerned face.

The person quickly shut the door and ran over to me, enveloping me in a hug.

“What’s wrong, baby girl?” the voice asked.

“I-I...I need...” I couldn’t get it out.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” The voice soothed.

After a minute of some more sobbing, I said, “Liam...I need Louis, but I can’t have him.”

Liam sighed, rubbing my back. “Shhh...it’s okay, Jos. It’s okay.”

“But that’s the problem, Liam. It’s not. I’m afraid it won’t ever be okay. I’ve messed up. I should have believed him. ...But I didn’t.” I sobbed.

“Shhh. We all make mistakes. You just have to give it time. You’ll find the right time to apologize.” Liam said.

I sniffed, hiding my head in his chest. “Liam?” I asked after a few minutes of me just crying.

“Yeh?” he whispered.

“Can you sing to me?” I asked. All of the boys have comforted me in the past. And each time, I ask the same thing. I ask them to sing to me. They usually sing what I’m feeling. It helps me understand myself.

“I thought I saw a girl brought to life
She was warm, she came around, she was dignified
Showed me what it was to cry
You couldn't be that girl I adored
You don't seem to know or seem to care what your heart is for
But I don't know her anymore

There's nothing left, I used to cry
My conversation has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's fine I'm torn
I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn

You're a little late
I'm already torn

There's nothing left
I used to cry
Inspiration has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's fine I'm torn

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying broken on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake and i can see the perfect sky is torn
You’re a little late
I’m already torn
Torn
Oh torn.”

And that’s what I fell asleep hearing.