The Bad Boys Saw Me Naked. Again

(18)

We avoid each others stares, awkwardly looking around the diner, not wanting to begin what is going to be an intense talk. 

"How are you?" He asks. 

"Good." I shrug. How does he really expect me to answer that question? "As good as I can be."

"I really do want to talk to you." He says, fiddling with his coffee mug.

"Then talk." I say.

"I've completely messed everything up." He starts. "I got caught up in the freedom, having no responsibilities." 

"Just because we left doesn't mean the responsibility just disappeared."  I point out.

"I know." He agrees immediately. "I completely ignored everything important, I screwed up. I owe a lot of people an apology, and that won't be enough. I can't even think about how much I hurt you."

"Why the sudden change?" I snap. "I called you when my Dad showed up, that's when you seriously hurt me. You know how much that man scares me, what he's done to me, and you just didn't answer."

He doesn't say anything, knowing it's true.

"I needed you." I finish, my voice cracking. "I've relied on you for so long, I forgot how to stop the nightmares without you."

"I didn't listen to that voicemail." Alex says, looking utterly defeated. "I saw you call, and I didn't want to face you, so I ignored it. I didn't know what was going on until Zane rang me. I turned up to the police station, hoping it wasn't too late to fix things."

"So how can I trust you now?" I ask, frustrated. "Sure, you're sorry, but this can't happen again. It can't. I won't let it."

"Please." Alex sighs. "Being apart from you was the worst mistake I've ever made. I need to be with you, to protect you."

I tap my cup, so frustrated at how long it took him.

"Alex, I love you." I smile gently. "I almost wish I didn't, it would make this a lot easier." 

"I love you too." He smiles, getting excited. "Harper, I-"

"We can't be together." I say, before I get his hopes up. "You let me down, and I would be disappointing myself if I just took you back like nothing happened."

He looks at me, tearing up.

"Harper please." He says. "I'm going to make this right. I will, I'm not going to just let you go."

"And maybe you will." I say, standing up to leave before I get too emotional, and take him back. "But we can't be in a relationship right now." 

"Harper-"

"Goodbye, Alex". I say quickly, wiping the tear off my cheek, heading for the door.

I know it was the right thing to do.

I just wish it didn't suck as much as it does.

<><><><><><><><>

"Harper, call me if anything happens." Mom says seriously. "Anything."

"I will, Mom." I promise, as she squeezes me tight.

"And if Alex gives you anymore problems, tell me." Derek says gruffly. "I'll bring my gun."

"I've sorted Alex." I sigh, not wanting to think about it. "You guys go. Go home, and get ready for Africa. No way are you giving that up." 

"We leave in a week." Mum says uneasily. "Any signs of trouble, we do not get on that plane." 

"Ok." I agree. No way am I letting them stop their lives for this.

"I love you." She says, before they leave, driving back towards their town. 

With the issue of my father and Quentin being a standstill, it made little sense for everyone to just stop their lives. Mum and Derek would actually be safer out of town, and soon they're leaving for a safari tour through Africa. 

And I'm the safest I can be, right where I am, with the boys. 

I feel a tug on my sleeve, and I'm interrupted from my trance, Will looking up at me.

"I'm hungry." He states. 

"Let's get you some food." I smile, leading him inside.

"Zane offered to cook for me, but I'm a little scared of that happening." He says. 

"I promise, I'm back, with no distractions." I chuckle. "How does a big pot of chilli sound?" 

"With cheese and sour cream!" Hayden says excited, running down the stairs.

"And chocolate cake with ice cream!" Vince shouts from the living room.

"Give me an hour, and you will all be fed!" I roll my eyes. 

Will joins me in the kitchen, and I chat to him about school, as I get busy cooking for the masses. 

"Harper, your phone is buzzing!" Asher screams from the top of the stairs.

"Can you bring it to me?" I call back. 

"Nah." He groans.

I open my mouth to cuss him out, but Will stops me.

"I'll get it for you." He says. "Asher's just on his period. That's what Elliot told me."

Once again, I open my mouth... to say something... but I'm at a loss for words. No idea what to say to that. I'm going to leave that one for Zane.

He's back with my phone, and he goes back to colouring.

I see that I have two texts, from unknown numbers.

The first one surprises me, it's from Evan.

~Hi Harper, I just wanted to say I heard about your Dad being back.

 I'm really sorry. You have no reason to trust me, and I'll stay away from you, but I wanted to offer any help I can give you. 

Good luck in life, all the best- Evan.~

I still don't trust him. I probably never will. But it's appreciated.

The next text scared me. The next text made me want to run back to Alex and forgive him, just so he can hold me and make me feel safe.

~Harper. Seeing you yesterday was lovely. Eventually we will speak, and you will work for our forgiveness, for everything you did to make us leave town two years ago. But for now, have fun with your new family. 

Your real one is waiting-Dad.~

<><><><>

"Why can't you get things right?" My Dad growls, throwing another plate at me. I duck, and it smashes against the wall.

"I'm sorry Daddy." I sob. 

"No!" He screams. "Your old enough now for me to teach you what true respect is. Call me sir when I am angry with you!" 

"Yes Sir." I say quickly, wiping the tears off my cheeks. 

"You will learn that you aren't special." He continues. "You were born into this world with nothing, the sooner you learn that the better. Now get upstairs!"