The Bad Boys Saw Me Naked. Again

(21)

For the first time in a long time, I wake up feeling like I had a decent sleep.

I sit up, rubbing my eyes, the sun streaming in through the window. That was the best sleep I've had in a long time.

But I'm in Alex's room.

I look around, in a room that I've avoided for the last two weeks.

And Alex is sitting in the armchair by the bed.

He's fast asleep, mouth open, covered in a flimsy blanket. What?

I pull a sweater over my pyjamas, cold.

He must be freezing.

"Breakfast!" I hear Cole shout downstairs, and it jolts Alex awake.

"Hey." I say softly.

"Morning." He groans, wincing as he stretches. "This chair was never comfortable." My eyes widen.

"You've been here all night?" I ask.

"Yeah..." He mumbles. "Do you remember?"

"I remember falling asleep on the porch." I frown.

"I carried you up to bed." He explains. "I didn't know you switched to the guest bedroom. Once I got you in the bed, you kind of.. grabbed my hand. Wouldn't let go."

I stay silent, not knowing how to feel about this.

"Every time I forced my hand away you cried, I didn't know what to do." He shrugs. "I ended up just sitting in the chair, I didn't want you to get distressed again."

I look at my lap, ashamed that he has that affect on me.

"Sorry." I mumble.

"No, don't be." He says. "Cole came home, gave me the third degree. You wouldn't take his hand instead, so he allowed me to stay here, telling me if I caused any trouble I wouldn't be included in his will."

I stay quiet.

Speaking of Cole, there's a knock at the door, and Cole pops his head in.

"Oh good, you're up." He says. "I kept an eye on him, sorry Harper."

"It's fine, Cole." I smile tightly.

"Breakfast is ready when you want it." He says, before closing the door.

Once again, it's just the two of us.

"Have you not been sleeping Harper?" He asks me softly.

I struggle to not cry, this is pathetic.

"Harper, please tell me. Are the nightmares back?" He continues. "I know how bad they get."

"I forgot how much I depended on you at night." I finally say.

"Have you been coping?"

I look at him, knowing that I'm about to break.

"I'm so scared of him Alex." I sob.

He immediately gets up, and holds me close to his chest, like a baby.

"I close my eyes and all I see is his face." I cry, breathing in his scent. "And I want to be strong, but I'm not. He scares me, and he's going to get me, and there's nothing I can do to stop him."

"Shhh, it's ok." He kisses my forehead and rubs my back. "No one is going to hurt you."

"You have." I shoot back, remembering that I've not forgiven him. This is simply a moment of weakness.